GIVE IT TO ME BI – Bisexuals, Get Ready: The Mummy 4 Is Coming
Image: Photo: IMDB
‘Bisexuals, Get Ready: The Mummy 4 Is Coming’ is the December edition of our monthly bisexuality column, Give It To Me Bi.
We don’t mean to alarm you, but you’re going to want to be sitting down when you hear this. Our favourite Academy Award-nominated 1999 action-adventure film The Mummy is returning, with the news recently breaking that The Mummy 4 is in final talks for film production.
The best news? The human embodiments of a ‘bisexual awakening’ – Rachel Weisz and Brendan Fraser, have all but confirmed they will be in the film.
If there is one cinematic universe that has fed the Bi+ community more than a bottomless brunch with mimosas, it’s The Mummy.
Seriously though, The Mummy wasn’t just a movie — it was a formative bisexual moment disguised as family-friendly adventure cinema.
Brendan Fraser swaggering around in sandy linen looking like the patron saint of bisexual himbos?
Rachel Weisz in that nightgown reading ancient Egyptian like it’s foreplay?
Ardeth Bay showing up with that smudged eyeliner and “I ride at dawn” energy? Please. It was a buffet. And we were hungry.
There is no monosexual explanation, for the fact that every character in that film was hot in a completely different way. The Mummy didn’t give us a love triangle — it gave us a love hexagon and said, “Choose your fighter.” And bisexuals said, “Yes, one of each please.”
And now, a whole new generation of bicons, and those who are questioning, will have the opportunity to experience the rite of passage that is The Mummy, and we fear the world is simply not prepared for this level of bisexual power.
Oh, you thought that rates of multi-gender attraction were increasing fast enough already? Think again — this might cause those numbers to explode. Are we being dramatic? Absolutely.
Either way, you will find the Give It To Me Bi team there on opening night, popcorn in hand, cheering as bisexual cinema rises once more from the sand dunes.
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