Treat her like a princess
It has come to my attention that there’s a new breed of gay and lesbian on the streets – the lesbian princess and prince twinks – and I think they need talking about.
To many they are a mystery, so I thought I would do the wider community a service and help them understand these wonderful, divine creatures, or at least the lesbian princesses – prince twinks are still a mystery to me.
There are three simple rules to remember about the lesbian princess: always respect, compliment and admire a princess; understand that a princess always gets her way; and always nurture their inner princess.
Of course there are also several by-laws when having a long-term intimate relationship with a princess. One of the more important intricacies you need to know is never under any circumstances make the following statement: “But honey, don’t you have enough (insert the words ‘clothes’, ‘shoes’ or ‘skin products’ here)?”
I have made this mistake several times and have suffered the consequences – take my advice if you want the relationship to continue.
So, if you consider yourself something of a princess lover, but find them too intimidating to approach, try first checking for a wedding band.
If there is no ring in sight, approach with confidence, compliment them and find something witty, intelligent and engaging to say.
Remember, most princesses are incredibly shy and are used to numerous people approaching them – most without any real tact or dignity. If you get off to a good start you will stand out from the crowd and improve your chances of getting a little closer.
I know this all sounds stereotypical, but I have had a lot of firsthand experience with so-called princesses and know the finer points of dealing with them.
Lesbian princesses are not, strictly speaking, a new type of lesbian. They are an evolution of the old-school femme, but with a few differences.
Most lesbian princesses I know are attracted not only to butch lesbians but also to predominantly androgynous girls.
This, I believe, is because they like to share many of their princess experiences with their girl – and this isn’t always possible to do with a butch partner. After all, you don’t see too many butch lesbians lining up at the local day spa on a weekend.
It is encouraging to see that in a time when people still like to stereotype and pigeonhole, the lesbian community continues to broaden and celebrate its diversity. Few women these days see the need to make a political statement by shaving off their hair.
Lesbians are branching out into all kinds of new desires and fantasies. If you are lucky enough to date a lesbian princess – or any lesbian for that matter – treat them as you would like to be treated and spoil them rotten because deep down everyone loves to be spoilt.
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