It is scary when friends confess to having to downsize their wardrobe drastically at the mere age of 40-something.

They’ve lived for years in the latest designer outfits that have gradually been adjusted over the years — one size larger after the holiday season, a belt hole larger after an overseas trip, a new, bigger outfit as work gets busier and gym sessions and sports activities are pushed aside. Why does the latest designer makes clothes that are a size smaller?

But with the assistance of a beautician — or was that dietitian — lifestyles are purged in the hope of regaining some self-respect and self-esteem. Not merely turning over a new lettuce leaf. That would be too simple.

Oh no, let’s start with colonic irrigation, and once doesn’t achieve the complete cleansing required. Three internal flushes remove the parasites and kill their larvae, but leave the scars of disrepute and self-destruction. Toxins they were called, leaving me to assume something similar to the radioactive sludge fattening the aquatic livestock in the Bay of Tokyo.

It is never enough to strip off the mould — it is the new intake that changes things. It is hardly surprising to find our subject enjoying the gym and exercise routine again.

We sat together for a three-course meal — celery and orange juice with a dash of ginger for oomph. Blanched broccoli decorating a spoonful of brown rice was washed down with stinging nettle and Japanese green tea with ginseng. The jeans he used to wear are so large not even Magda’s tailor could re-create them into something fashionable again.

So a new wardrobe it is. Sad, but life must go on for the fit and healthy. Get out to play with a gay and lesbian-friendly club. From bowling to surfing, squash to table tennis, dancing to self-defence, and swimming to rowing, you’ll find them at

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