Have you ever had sex with your partner only to realise you haven’t noticed as much as you used to along the way? Of course you have, we all have! These are common examples of not being mindful by going on automatic pilot. Help is at hand as mindfulness can make you a much better lover.

Being mindful means being aware of everything around you at any given moment. The pressure on your feet as you walk, the sun on your face, the wind stroking your body, the sound of traffic and birds and the sight of the sun filtering through the trees. When you concentrate on all these things you are fully experiencing life and you are no longer concentrating on your micro world. A micro world about the upsetting conversation you had with your boss, the shocking cost of party tickets or the fact that your partner never ever washed the car. These are examples of you living in your micro world.

The overall benefits of mindfulness are enormous. Being mindful extends your brain to higher intelligence by feeding it more information. So when placed in a stressful work meeting or presentation, become aware of everything in the room; the look on others faces, the smell of coffee, the light coming through the window and how your body feels sitting on the chair. You will then end up more in-the-room and conduct yourself in a more responsive and intelligent way. Just try it and see for yourself.

Buddhist monks have practiced mindfulness for years and it does take a lot of practice to perfect it, but once you start doing it, it slowly becomes a habit. You will find yourself doing it in the bus, a post office queue, waiting for a train or having sex. The time will pass more enjoyably and you will have moments of bliss by living in the now.

When our brains are not mindful the stressful events of our lives can become so habituated they occur without awareness, until, because of physical or emotional or psychological dysfunction, we become mentally or physically unwell.

These reactions can include tensing the body, experiencing painful emotional states, panic attacks, anxiety, depression, being prisoners of obsessional self-talk and even toxic self-criticism.

To practice mindfulness and become more present all you have to do is to establish attention in the present moment, allow yourself to be with what is there, without trying to change anything. By practicing ‘being’, the ‘doing’ will be more informed, more responsive, and less driven by the habits of inattention.

Finally, be careful not to try too hard when practicing mindfulness. Try to do it a few times a day and you will be surprised how often you brain will automatically click into reminding you to do it.

By being more mindful you will be reducing stress levels enormously, cope with work and home life demands much better, live life more fully and become a really great sexy lover. Try it and see.

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