The trouble with whirlwind retrospectives like this is it’s impossible to cram everything in. But I’m giving it a crack, nonetheless.

Snaps for Obama’s inauguration, however, Prop 8 somehow survived. HIV infection rates rise, and despite passing civil union legislation, Australia dithers on same-sex marriage. Turnbull tumbles, the budgie-smugglers hurt my eyes, and NSW Labor has a new pin-up gal.

Bruno, Balloon Boy, Susan Boyle.

Swine flu bred hysteria, the GFC still sucks, and bushfires ravaged Victoria. Tiger Woods spawned headline tedium, and the Sydney Convicts appeared on The Footy Show. Centrelink’s still stuffing us around, UN climate change talks began, and police faced scrutiny after allegations gay bashers walked free in Blacktown.

Sam Sparro, New Moon, Ruby Rose. The Freemasons and Alison Jiear rocked the party, but NMG had a bumpy ride — with resignations, relocations, and mix-ups for the 2010 parade and party, while sniffer dog ops were on the nose for Sleaze partygoers. The Pop Shop’s back, the Flinders is gone. the Shift saddled up, Nevermind popped her cherry, and the Imperial hangs in limbo.

Octomom, Windows 7, Lady Gaga.

Whitney and George Michael are coming to town. Joan Rivers, PINK and Liza Minnelli have been and gone. Kylie toured the States, Adam Lambert sealed it with a gay kiss, and Britney mimed herself another fail. Kanye West makes tool of the year, Taylor Swift is stunned. Images of a badly beaten Rihanna remind the world domestic violence is not okay.

Masterchef, Penny Wong, Glee.

Kevin McGee posted his suicide note on Facebook (which clinched 350 million users) and Matthew Leveson’s boyfriend was found not guilty. Other ‘big news’ deaths included Farrah Fawcett, Patrick Swayze, and of course, Michael Jackson — yet many remain sceptical of the King of Pop’s demise. A lesbian kiss rocked Home and Away, DIVA bounced back from meltdown and Sydney Star Observer commemorated an epic 1000 issues.

If I’ve missed something, have your say online. But on a more festive note, here’s to a safe and smashing holiday season. See you on the flipside of ’09, which is also the year this column was born.

A queen’s entitled to just a little self-indulgence over Christmas, right?

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