Begging to differ

Begging to differ

Last week was an unusually frustrating one. Hearing Queensland MP Bob Katter front a pro-marriage rally to tell us we should be “laughed at and ridiculed” for wanting to marry our partners was the tipping point that sent my forehead firmly downward against my desk.

And, of course, Daily Telegraph columnist Miranda Devine. Where do I start other than to resist temptation to stoke the coals on the lesbian parenting equals riots on the streets debate?

Let’s not forget Nationals Senator Barnaby Joyce crying that gay marriage will take away his right to see his daughters marry “a loving husband”.

This was the collective wisdom that made the headlines.

After a tirade of furious retorts, Devine protested her comments were not homophobic, bloggers were taking her out of context and she wasn’t blaming Senator Penny Wong for our apparent newfound pursuit of a ‘fatherless society’, just that Wong’s family situation shouldn’t be celebrated.

And what a surprise for Devine that taking a stick to the ills of a ‘fatherless society’ and including lesbian parenting in the same breath would see the gays about town put their angry face on.

But by including lesbian parents in her worries of a ‘fatherless society’, Devine makes the bold assumption that lesbian families automatically shut out the father (or donor) from a child’s life. In reality, for many lesbian-parented families, this is not true.

Many couples, both gay and lesbian, are at pains to ensure their children have contact with their biological parents, or at least a male or female role-model ‘substitute’. Often more thought goes into ensuring a child has both a mother and a father figure in their lives than most straight-parented families.

So mindlessly linking lesbian parents with a ‘fatherless society’ is disingenuous at best. A case, recently before the NSW courts, where a male donor was fighting for his right to be included on a child’s birth certificate certainly plays into Devine’s hands, but this case is not the way all lesbian-parented families operate.

One of the reasons the blogosphere was so unhappy with the offerings of Devine, Katter and Joyce last week is because their comments, as much as I’m in favour of their right to voice them, do add fuel to a wider picture of intolerance in society.

LGBTI people see the other side of prejudiced views. So, by all means oppose gay marriage if that’s your belief, ridicule and laugh at us, but don’t be surprised when people get angry about it.

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