It was a festival of boobs a few weekends ago. The mini men find it ridiculously funny every time they see a picture of boobs or, as they pronounce them, ‘berbs’.
The boys love to lift their tops and giggle at each others berbs and then try and lift my shirt to have more laughs. I am trying to figure out what is in boobs they like so much. It’s either berbs or belly buttons that hold their fascination.
We headed off to the beach and we passed a thousand buses, most of which were advertising Sexpo. There was a blonde woman overfilling her red leather bra with silicone. Next to her was a shirtless man holding his breath to pec himself up. The boys were in fits of laughter at all the berbs on the bus. “Guys, settle down,” I told them through the rearview mirror. “Oh, look daddy, more berbs,” they started laughing again at the massive billboard on the same silicone and chest plates. I looked over in another direction and there was a scantily-clad woman lounging over a shirtless man on the Calvin Klein billboard.
I started laughing — I couldn’t believe how much boob I was being subjected to. Little boys love all manner of naughty talk. When the boys and their little mates get together, the conversation heads down the toilet path so quickly, because, quite frankly it’s just so funny.
Apart from discussing which Ninja Turtle they like best or what their dad does at work, they always giggle about ‘bottom explosions’, ‘willies’ and the age-old ‘poop’. Why such words can make them explode into fits of laughter is beyond me.
Dawn and I try not to giggle when we try to distract the boys from talking rubbish.
It’s really not that different from adults. You can be sitting around having a nice dinner and then shebang, someone slides the conversation into the gutter and then everyone has a go to outdo each other.
Chicky has decided that while he can proclaim his love of berbs, he’s reluctant to be shirtless. He’s turned prudish, not too dissimilar from his dad as a child, yet is quite happy to pants himself for fun and run around the house pantless asking his family to see his ‘bot bot’.
Thankfully, I know he’ll grow out of his prudish ways and take his shirt off occasionally and put his pants back on.
Until then, the wheels and the berbs on the bus are what make the world go round.

© Star Observer 2022 | For the latest in lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and intersex (LGBTIQ) news in Australia, be sure to visit starobserver.com.au daily. You can also read our latest magazines or Join us on our Facebook page and Twitter feed.