OPINION: Hi! I’m Bisexual And I’m Really Goddamn Angry

Hi! I’m bisexual — and as you’re likely already aware, I’m really goddamn angry.

Not “throwing staplers at the wall” angry. Not “screaming at customer service” Karen-esque angry. I’m that simmering kind of angry that comes from years of being erased, dismissed, and treated like an afterthought. The kind of angry that smoulders under your skin until you either implode or turn it into something useful.

And honestly? I think useful anger is exactly what we need right now — especially as we’re nearing the end of 2025’s Bisexual Awareness Week and nearly at Bi Visibility Day (23 September).

Bisexual anger is fine, because anger isn’t the enemy

Let’s get one thing straight (as straight as I, a bisexual, can possibly do things, anyway): anger is not inherently bad. Anger is proof that you care. Underneath the outward rage, it’s rooted in hope; the belief that things can be better. And history shows us — when people get angry, shit changes.

Stonewall? That was LGBTQIA+ people being attacked by cops, and being angry enough to fight back. ACT UP in the 1980s? That was rage against governments letting our people die during the AIDS crisis. Here in Australia, activists furious about being treated like second-class citizens forced change — from decriminalisation to marriage equality.

None of it happened because we politely asked and waited. It happened because anger boiled over and became impossible to ignore, impossible to live with anymore.

So when I say I’m angry, I’m not shying away from it (even though I’m 99.99% sure this is going to cause some people to be very grumpy in our comment threads). But I’m certainly not ashamed of it, and I’m absolutely not hiding away anymore. I’m saying: I believe things can be better. I’m saying what I’m angry about is becoming impossible to ignore, and impossible for the Bi+ community to continue living with.

I’m saying we need change – and we need the community to support us.

Bisexual means double the stigma, double the toll

This week, during Bisexual Awareness Week, I saw a post in an Australian LGBTQIA+ online space, built as a safe space supposedly for the entire community.

In it, a story was shared about Mitch Brown speaking out for Bi Awareness Week, in which he said that Bi+ people ‘cop a lot of shit’. The story never said ONLY Bi+ people cop shit — it was simply a bi person speaking out about their lived experience as a bisexual member of the LGBTQIA+ community.

And yet, the post was shared with the comment: ‘boo hoo we all cop our fair share’. After another member and myself called it in, the comment was amended to say that there is ‘great division’ in the community, and one section of it shouldn’t be focussed on when all of us have issues right now.

The AFL recently having its first same-sex-attracted man finally come out of the closet is a seismic moment for our community as a whole — we haven’t had the opportunity able to hear about what gay, bi and queer men in the AFL have been experiencing for a whopping 127 years, and it’s fucking IMPORTANT that we finally get the chance to. And yet, for some reason, because he’s bi, he shouldn’t be allowed to speak about what he’s experienced?

Our community speaks out about their experiences all the time — it’s how change happens. Sharing our unique experiences related to our different (albeit sometimes similar or overlapping) identities is vital, because the LGBTQIA+ community is not a homogenous group, we experience different things. But when we all share our differences, the response SHOULD be support and solidarity from other members of the community, not sarcasm, or whataboutism, or disregard. Or in more extreme cases, hate or disownment.

People speaking about their experiences isn’t what creates division — people bringing others down for it is what causes division. So, when we see or hear someone who identifies differently to ourselves speaking out their experiences? Listen. Learn. Empathise. And support them.

If we all do this for each other, our community gets stronger. If we choose to bring down those who identify differently to ourselves, we create division, and it only weakens our community as a whole.

The numbers don’t lie — but they do sting

Here’s the kicker: bisexual people are the biggest group within the rainbow community. While of course we don’t have LGBTQIA+ data from the Australian census yet, a 2022 ABS survey showed 1.7% of Australians identify as bi, compared with 1.5% of people who identify as gay and lesbian (combined). And those numbers are climbing every year, especially among younger people.

And yet? It’s estimated that we get less than 1% of LGBTQIA+ funding. Not even one percent. The maths doesn’t math. We’re the largest group, and somehow still treated like the leftovers at the bottom of the community fridge.

Being bisexual means living with stigma from both sides. Straight people assume you’re “really gay” or “really straight.” Queer people question whether you’re “queer enough.” And while everyone’s debating your legitimacy, bi+ folks are quietly racking up higher rates of depression, anxiety and suicidality than our lesbian and gay peers (which are already higher than our heterosexual peers).

We don’t just get sidelined — we get erased on multiple fronts:

• In our own community: “You’re just confused.” “Pick a side.” “Not queer enough.” Heard it all before.

• In policy: Laws are written for “same-sex couples” like that covers the full picture. Spoiler: it doesn’t.

• In media and culture: If we’re represented at all, it’s with quotation marks around our identity. Bi until proven otherwise.

And that erasure has consequences. It chips away at visibility, belonging, and — let’s be real — survival.

So yeah, I’m angry. Angry that bisexuality is treated like a phase. Angry that we’re constantly the punchline. Angry that our experiences are somehow seen as less valid than others. Angry that despite being third letter in the acronym, it so often feels like on the periphery looking in. Angry that we’re the biggest group in the community and somehow still the least resourced.

But anger is not hopelessness. It’s fuel. Just like Stonewall, just like ACT UP, just like every furious activist who refused to shut up — anger is the spark.

Bisexual and forever proud: What keeps me going

Here’s the bit where I stop yelling and tell you why I still believe:

• More people are proudly identifying as bi+ every year.

• Research is catching up, giving us the receipts to throw back at policymakers.

• Bi+ activists and community groups are refusing to be sidelined anymore.

Every Bi Visibility Day, our voices get louder. Our anger gets sharper. And one day soon, the people holding the purse strings and the power won’t be able to look away.

But here’s the thing: bisexual people can’t — and shouldn’t — do this alone. If you’re gay, lesbian, trans, queer, intersex, ace, pan, an intersectional mix, or an ally, Bi Visibility Day is your chance to show up. Share our stories. Call out biphobia when you see it. Demand that “B” in LGBTQIA+ is more than just a letter on a poster.

Because if you genuinely care about queer liberation, you have to care about all of us. And you have to support us, as we are, and have always supported you.

So hi, I’m bisexual. I’m angry. And I’m inviting you to get angry too. Because anger gets shit done. And together, our anger can build the visibility, the acceptance the funding, and the future we all deserve. Get on board.