Susie Ridge is The Closer! Not only did our homespun country lass close out Ladyfingers recently but she has made a clean sweep of it and apparently closed another gig she was keeping warm for a vacationing sister.

Ladies, if you wanna keep your gig, don’t put her on as a guest! Or if you’re a bit over it and want the night at home then maybe do! Just like Kyra Sedgwick, she will close your show with one shot. She has supernatural powers, our Ridge.

Which ex-promotions person and visiting showgirl were turned away from a Monday night venue for reasons unknown?

Something about insults or eggs being thrown. Very Edith Massey. It’s a bit hard to take aim with a projectile from interstate though.

It seems a well known Melbourne dancer is taking a forced hiatus due to a serious back injury from lifting — of all things — a showgirl. Where’s Occupational Health and Safety when you need it? I’ve told you a million times, Katy, bend your knees!

Kitty Deluxe and Anita Beer got into a disagreement after a recent night out in, of all places, the Smith St 7/11. Pies were thrown, wigs ended in slushy machines, cans of dog food were used as weapons of mass destruction.

It seems the girls were tired and emotional and have since kissed and made up. Aw, I love a happy ending.

The countdown to closing is on at the Market with only six weeks of trading left. Get on down to the old joint and have a drink with Spiro for old times sake. Truly the end of an era. Some fabulous things in store for the last few weeks, with Zowie Knox rumoured to be coaxed out of retirement to produce one last spectacle.

Destiny’s drag race hit the track running last week with the winner being newbie on the block Sasha Fagg. I love to see new up-and-coming talent. All that ballet training came in handy after all.

Bit dubious about the choice of some of the judging panel. Seems to me if you’re gonna judge, at least be able to do your own makeup and perform yourself.

Things have been a little light on for goss of late, so I urge my sisters to get out amongst it and live, live, live.

Someone stack on some weight, blow a ping pong ball outta your ass, have a bitch fight, fall down drunk — anything interesting — or I will be forced to take matters into my own hands!
Until next time.

Remember — camp can mean a thousand things.

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