There’s an intimate connection between sex and breath — and it has nothing to do with famous actors, Bangkok hotel rooms and misplaced belts.
Without both breath and sex, none of us would be here. We owe our very lives to these basic functions.
Breath and sex are also two of our greatest sources of energy and aliveness. In fact, deep breathing can help us to grow and expand, changing the way we feel. It links the conscious with the unconscious, giving us greater awareness and insights. And it can energise the body, clear the mind and bring us fully into the present moment.
Yet when it comes to breathing, most of us are only just doing enough to survive. We unconsciously regulate our breath to give less fuel to uncomfortable situations or feelings. We also breathe less when we’re too ‘in our heads’, and disconnected from our bodies. Or we simply forget to breathe as we rush from one moment to the next.
Shallow breathing helps to numb us. It’s a protection mechanism in a stressful world. We learn at a young age that too much energy can get us into trouble, so we limit our breath accordingly.
In the process of shallow breathing, we also lose a sensitivity to the things we want and need to feel. So to experience more aliveness, step one is to learn to breathe correctly. That means relaxing the diaphragm and allowing the belly to move out and drop slightly on the inhale. Try taking a slow deep breath into your belly. Inhale from your genitals up into your belly, chest, shoulders and finally head. Feel how your whole body stretches and expands, and your mind ‘lets go’ a little. Hopefully you can see how easy it is to change how you feel when you change how you breathe.
Now apply these ideas in your relationships. One of the simplest ways to connect with another person is to match your breath with theirs. That applies in whatever situation you need to build empathy. By balancing your physical and emotional states, you’ll enhance your ability to ‘tune in’ and read each other — and with a partner, that can lead to more connected, sexier times for you both.
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