Gay Men Discuss Having Sex With Friends

Is it ok to sleep with friends? Maybe you see sex with a friend as another bonding activity, like playing a board game, going to the gym, or watching a movie. Maybe you share the view that sleeping with friends is a no-go zone and can only add complication. 

Recently, a conversation started on the AskGayMen thread on Reddit about this very topic.

A Redditor asked, “Do you f*ck your friends?”

They continued, “When I think of my friends, and I think of partners, one of the things that doesn’t overlap is the presence of sex. I fully understand that everyone has a different definition and is comfortable with different things but the line being blurred there doesn’t seem to be a healthy one?”

They added, “I’m not trying to judge anyone but I find it emotionally overcomplex to be sexually invoked with both your potential partner(s) and all of your so-called friends.”

‘The Point Of Friends Is To Have Fun Together’

One Redditor responded, “Some people have difficulty decoupling sex from romantic attachment. Some people do not. For the latter group, it’s just sex and having fun. The point of friends is to have fun together, and this is just another type of fun you can have if you’re both amenable.”

Another wrote, “It can also deepen and add an extra layer to your friendships too. But its cert not for all and the guys who feel jealousy or harbour trust issues should [definitely] avoid until these are sorted first.”

Another shared, “Many of my friendships include sex. Usually I have met these people through sex first and then friendship developed but not always. To me, sex is about connection but that connection doesn’t need to be romantic. I enjoy these deep friendships. I have friends that don’t like having sex in the mix and I respect that. 

“To me, it doesn’t feel blurry because I communicate regularly with these friends about what we feel these relationships are. I only do this with people who are able to communicate effectively because that does feel like a critical component.”

‘Don’t Shit Where You Eat’

However, not all responses were pro-friends with benefits.

One Redditor said, “I don’t equate sexual relationships with romantic attachment, but sexual relationships and friendships are completely different things to me. Friends to me are people who I’m not sexually attracted to, and I could not have sex with friends unless I plan on taking the relationship somewhere else.”

Another chimed in, “I love to hookup and have casual sex with guys but I’d never have sex with my friends. Don’t shit where you eat,” another chimed in.

“My sex/romantic life and my social life are two different things. Less complicated that way.”

What’s your view on sex on the subject. Let us know in the comments.