Gay Men Discuss Responding Vs Ignoring On Grindr
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When it comes to dating apps, is no response a response? Maybe you feel ignoring an unsolicited message is rude and you prefer to let the person down gently. Maybe you feel ignoring or being ignored is much gentler than putting the rejection in writing.
Recently, a conversation started on the Askgaybros thread on Reddit about this very topic.
A Redditor posted “nobody owes you a damn thing on hookup apps (Grindr) and no response IS indeed a response.”
They continued, “If someone resorts to insults and swearing when they don’t receive a response from you, imagine what they’re like if you were to actually meet them in person.”
Of course, this started a discussion on the matter.
‘I Think Ignoring Someone Is Rude’
One Redditor responded, “I don’t agree, but that’s just me. I find it mean. Just be honest with people! I hate it when that happens to me, so I try not to do it to others. At least you know it’s not a bot but a real person if they respond with something like. “I’m sorry man I’m not interested. Happy hunting!” My usual reply. Sometimes I’m not into them sexually but I’m down to chat. But I let them know that. I try to be polite about it.”
Another wrote, “I just say I’m not interested. I think ignoring someone is rude. But that’s me. No one owes anyone anything that’s true but I think respect dictates a response even if it’s a block. They get it then.”
Another shared, “Well there are others who do appreciate those who do acknowledge them..so please continue to do so..hence why I don’t bother especially when I know I will get a rejection..why waste my time..I will give them a tap but thats about it..”
‘People Accept Rejection More Easily If You Just Ignore Them’
Not all the commenters, however, were opposed to ignoring or being ignored.
“I don’t mind guys who don’t respond and I certainly don’t message again trying to initiate a response. You just move on. No problem,” one user said.
Another wrote, “I’ve learned that people accept rejection more easily if you just ignore them. I’ve tried being honest and tell them I’m not interested. 90% can’t deal with being told they’re not someones type and they throw a fit.”
“Appreciate the ones who don’t respond vs the ones who are all for it and then bail or block when its time to meet up,” added another Redditor.
Let us know what you think in the comments. Are you pro-ignore or pro-response?
I think responding is the right thing to do. If someone approached me at a bar or queer event and said hello to my face, I would not just look at them and turn around, would I?