Dolly’s 9-5

Dear Kidneys and liver,

I am soooo sorry for what I did to you over that long weekend. You played your parts very well and all I did was abuse you – bloody good fun though wasn’t it?

As a reward I have decided to give you a treat; Apparently they are known around the traps as ‘fruit and vegetables’. Enjoy them as you will be needed this weekend to continue the hedonistic lifestyle I have become accustomed to.

I made a similar deal with my heart several years ago when I stopped smoking crack.

–Dolly

Bearracuda

Wah Wah Lounge – Melbourne

Friday, November 9

Bearracuda is back and it promises to be even bigger and better than the last time. It was by all accounts a great party so I’m unsure how they can top the last one. Well, I was unsure until I spoke to Matt who’s organising the event,

“We’ve got two rooms of music and we’re bringing over DJ Steve Sherwood who plays the Bearracuda party in the US. We also have Kam Shafaati and Papa Tom so the DJ line-up is pretty amazing” he said,

“It’s going to be a great night so if you like beards, bears, cubs, pups, chubs, beefcakes, furballs and other wildlife then you know where to go. Put down your iPhone and get off Scruff – they’ll be at the party as they are the sponsor. Woof! Woof!”

INFO: bearracuda.com/melbourne/

Tim McKew Toasts Noel Coward

TasPride (Hobart)

Friday, November 23

Tim McKew has been playing Noel Coward for almost as long as Noel Coward did. I say that with a great deal of praise in my tone because I think he almost plays it better than the man himself, almost.

After a very successful tour of Europe and parts of Asia, he returns to Hobart once again and this time he’s doing what any sensible performer does and he’s doing the show at the Meadowbank winery.

They are the best shows to do as everyone’s always in such a jolly mood. It’s a musical tribute to Coward with Aaron Powell on piano and it’s all done with a 21st century twist.

You can book for dinner and show or just go along and enjoy the show by itself – well not completely by itself as you’re at a winery for God’s sake.

INFO: taspride.com

Sexes Festival

Carriageworks, Sydney

Until December 1

The inaugural Sexes Festival is well and truly in full swing. It’s on at Carriageworks and it’s helping to shine a very bright light on gender and sexuality. The brighter the better I say, and by all accounts people are loving it. It’s on until December 1 and this month some of the highlights include a dirty movie night and erotic fan fiction. You can only assume that it’s going to be at least 50 times better than 50 shades of badly written trash. Expect to be entertained and turned on all at the same time. So get along and broaden those horizons. You know you want too.

INFO: performancespace.com.au