John Carter

Andrew Stanton, creator of Pixar-animated films like Finding Nemo and Wall-E, has directed his first live action film, based on Edgar Rice Burroughs’ 1917 novel A Princess of Mars.

Primarily set in the 1880s, John Carter (Taylor Kitsch, who played Gambit in X-Men Origins: Wolverine) is a former Confederate Army captain who wants to lead a simple respectful life finding gold.

However, he finds himself in trouble with the army trying to recruit him and he escapes.

Before you know it, he stumbles upon a cave and, after battling an extraterrestrial being, he is transported to the magical land of Barsoom, otherwise known as Mars.

Carter then assumes some magical ability to jump incredible lengths and be powerfully strong. He learns that Barsoom is being leaked of its energy and is recruited by a ‘thank-god-she’s-pretty-cos-her-acting–is-very-mediocre’ princess (played by Lynn Collins) to help the people of Helium (I kid you not) save their planet.

Will John join the fight or will he continue the pacifist ways he practised on Earth?

What this film fails to achieve is the ability to actually make sense. First, there are characters that look like a mishmash of Star Wars creatures. Second, the screenplay is weak and overloaded with moments of American sentimentality and cheese. Third, the scenes are all-over-the-show and the action scenes are not all that action-packed.

All in all, the movie lacks energy, is confusing and can’t help but seem like an inferior copycat of some of the greatest sci-fi flicks ever.

In saying that though, this two-hour sigh-fest is mildly entertaining but only if you go in expecting handsome, beautiful actors to do mildly average jobs of their roles.

I wanna like it more but for some reason, I can’t. For that, I give it 2 out of 5.

INFO: Kylan Luke-McKeen is the presenter and film reviewer for Kiss My Arts on JOY94.9 (Mondays 9-10pm). You can view his work and other film reviews at www.kylanmckeen.com

132 mins
Director: Andrew Stanton
Distributor: Pinnacle Films
Based on the book A Princess of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs
Cast: Taylor Kitsch, Lynn Collins, Mark Strong, Ciaran Hinds and Willem Dafoe