Bear with me

I never thought I’d put this into print, but I think I’m coming down with a case of bear envy.

I’ve just had a squiz at the ad in last week’s SSO for the Bear Essentials week of pre-Mardi Gras activities and I must say, apart from the fact that I’m not a bear, I’m usually not attracted to bears, and body hair in general grosses me out, it all looks like a bloody hoot.

Over the course of one week you can party with the bears, dine with the bears, drink with the bears, swim with the bears and even go see real bears -“ all in the company of other bears.

It all begs the obvious question: how much can a bear bear? And in the case of the bears’ own sauna party event, how many bare bears can a bear bear? For that matter, how many bare bears can a bare bear bear?

Seemingly, a lot. The thing that has always struck me about the bears is their apparent good-naturedness. You can see it in the photos on the Bear Essentials ad: they all look so bloody happy. Some are hairier than others; some veer more towards being musclebears and others veer more towards being fatties, but they all seem remarkably relaxed and comfortable being their beary selves.

And they’re always so well organised. What other gay subculture has it together enough to compile a full week of activities, this far out from Mardi Gras? Sydney’s leather crowd seems to have been a bit quiet of late; the muscle dudes have little interest in doing anything other than pumping iron and getting fucked; and the twinks -“ well, they’re just too busy pursing their lips over their vodka tonics and being vile to one another.

There are other things I envy about the bears. I like the way they seem to have junked some of the more crapulent aspects of gay culture, like ageism, sneering body fascism and endless show-ponyism. And I like the way, just by being organised and doing things in groups, they seem to give the finger to the world’s idea of what a gay man should be.

In a weird way, my bear envy has turned me into a bear admirer. And that’s another thing I’d never thought I’d be putting into print.