Fair’s Fair

In his article about the Fair’s Fair report Steven Easy makes a number of statements that need to be addressed.

Domestic violence (DV) is the systematic control of one partner by another. Not only does it happen in gay, lesbian and heterosexual relationships but the patterns of abuse and control are pretty much identical.

One of the key differences between same-sex DV and different-sex DV is the level of resources available to victims. There is currently no supported accommodation service in Australia for a gay men escaping DV – there is one specialist social worker and other education and support information is still very limited. And there are still services that do not work with men.

Steven is correct in pointing out that more lesbians report experiencing DV than gay men but this does not mean it is not an issue for the 26 percent of men who report in Fair’s Fair that they have been “hit, kicked, punched or had things thrown” at them by a partner or for the 36 percent of men in the Private Lives survey who say a partner had physically injured them.

While it’s true that drugs can make some people violent it’s also true that in most cases people who are violent towards their partner when they are on drugs are also emotionally abusive to, and controlling of, their partner when they are not on drugs. This is well understood in the broader health, legal and welfare sectors. By excusing DV as a result of drugs (including alcohol), we, as individuals and a community, allow the perpetrators to abrogate responsibility for their actions.

To gain an understanding of real life experiences of DV in gay and lesbian relationships, read the Personal Stories on the www.ssdv.acon.org.au site. Regardless of how many people experience DV, gay and lesbian community agencies and mainstream services have a responsibility to address it.