Jews get marriage nod

Two Sydney men are hoping to become the first Jewish gay couple in Australia to have their partnership officially sanctified following a decision to allow rabbis to officiate at same-sex ceremonies.

Christopher Whitmont-Stephenson, from Wollstonecraft, said he and his partner Scott Whitmont would be the “first to put their hands up”, and hoped to get married in October – straight after the new rules are likely to come into effect.

The Council of Progressive Rabbis said it would fall into line with the United States by allowing rabbis who wish to perform same-sex ceremonies to do so.

The ruling will affect Jews in New Zealand and Asia as well as Australia.

Whitmont-Stephenson and his partner had a commitment ceremony in 2002. However, because rabbis were banned from performing at the ceremony, it was not recognised.

“It’s important to us and we wanted to make a public statement,” Whitmont-Stephenson said.

“So we thought, ‘Let’s just do it and damn the law – that can change later.’”

When asked to explain his desire for the rule change to the congregation at the Temple Emanuel in Woollahra, Whitmont-Stephenson gave a simple message.

“I gave the message that we are like any other practising Jewish couple with a Jewish home and Jewish Friday night ceremonies, we go to synagogue, we eat kosher food, we love each other – the only difference is we are two men.”

Plans were already afoot for another ceremony but, Whitmont-Stephenson said, as it was the second time around, there wouldn’t be “a big hoo-hah”, just close friends and family in attendance.

“I’m really thrilled,” Rabbi Jacqueline Ninio said. “If a same-sex couple are in a committed and loving relationship then they have the right to have that commitment to be honoured in the presence of their community and God.”

Ninio, of Temple Emanuel, backs the changes and said she would be “honoured to officiate” at a same-sex ceremony.

However, some Orthodox rabbis, who are not affected by the Progressive decision, have poured scorn on the changes.

Rabbi Benzion Milecki of Rose Bay’s South Head Synagogue said in his weekly shabbat message that the decision was a “huge step backwards”.

“Pandering to so-called ‘modernity’, keeping up with the Joneses in the form of the latest moral fads and fashions – which are here today and gone tomorrow – has never been the authentic Jewish way,” he said.

While acknowledging the decision might give some congregations “something to think about”, Ninio said she did not share Milecki’s views.

“I don’t think it’s a fad – there’s a lot who say that we are made in the image of God and our sexuality is part of that,” she said.

Jewish gay group Dayenu welcomed the Progressive Council’s decision.

“We feel that it is recognition of the depth of commitment to our partners and rejoice that we are now able to do so within our faith,” the organisation said in a statement.

“We pray that those opposed to it will eventually see it as a complementary institution to marriage, designed to strengthen our community, not divide it.”

There is unlikely, however, to be a rush for sanctified ceremonies as, under Jewish law, rabbis can only officiate if both people are part of the religion.