With hundreds of kilometres on the treadmill under my belt, I now feel I have started to neglect one of my favourite pastimes, watching television.

God, I love it and god, I have done a lot of it. Put the word Foxtel into the equation, and the arse imprint in the lounge is well deserved.

To my horror I found recently the imprint is starting to come out and recover its original shape. Oh, I am Diva-stated!

One show I must say I have fallen for, like a sheep, is Desperate Housewives.

Around the world everyone is talking about it. Have they had surgery? Are they lesbians? Who are they shagging? Have the leading men done gay porn? And my favourite: is Teri Hatcher too thin?

These are the usual questions that send the water cooler conversations through the roof. Throw in the recent gay kiss and it seems that all and sundry can’t shut up about the bloody show. I love it.

So why not involve it in a drag show -“ everyone knows I’m desperate. And the perfect place would have to be Stonewall, directed by Candy Box.

Together we’ve devised a Desperate Housewives trivia-style night with thousands of dollars worth of prizes. (Well, sort of, but I am not going to be giving away a night with me as a prize this time, unless you really want me to.)

I have found out that Candy has had a lot of experience in these cult-style shows.

She had her fingerprints all over the Melrose Place nights at the Beresford those many years ago. I’m sure many of us older girls can remember spending most Tuesday nights down at the bar watching Melrose Place in our PJs, cheering and booing Amanda as she swished onscreen. What a hoot! Nothing better than being able to yell out the word slut in a bar and not feel too bad about it, is there?

So how is it going to work? It will start around 8:15pm every Monday. At each ad break there will be questions pertaining to what has just happened.

At the end of the show all the winners will be asked to join me on stage and we will have a Desperate Housewives trivia comp for fabulous prizes. So much fun for everyone!

So pop in on Monday and have a play with me. I will be playing the part of the really desperate housewife.

EYESPYM Happy birthday to me for Wednesday. Damn, I look good for my age!

Due to deadline restrictions I can’t comment on Carlotta’s grand opening on Wednesday.

Happy birthday to Blue magazine for last week. You have been there for me over many lonely nights.

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