Coming out

Coming out

Openly telling people your sexual identity can be a terrifying experience. It can also be a very positive and uplifting experience.

While many people experience a lot of anxiety around coming out, a lot of people find that once they have, they f

eel a lot better. Some people, like Matt — visit http://www.stayingnegative.net.au/current-stories/matt/ — find they no longer get bullied once they come out.

The fears people have around the consequences of disclosing their sexual status may be real or imaginary. However, the anxiety this may produce can be crippling.

Staying Negative — http://www.stayingnegative.net.au/issues — features many stories from men talking about their experiences, including coming out. Hearing other coming-out stories can often help people work out if and how they want to go about disclosing their sexuality.

It is important to note that there is no right age to come out. As you will see on Staying Negative, people come out at all different ages.

Coming out is a highly personal decision and people should not feel obligated to come out before they are ready.

A question I have often been asked is: in this day and age is there still a need to ‘come out’? Well, once again it comes down to a personal decision. For some people, there is no need to come out, they have just always been who they are.

However, many people may not be in such a fortunate position where they feel they can do this.

Other people may decide not to come out at all, as they do not feel it’s necessary. Then there are others who choose to only come out to certain people, like friends but not family. This is okay and entirely up to the individual.

It is important that we recognise that there is no one right way of doing things, but rather a number of ways a person can choose to express their sexual identity.

If you feel you are ready to come out, there are plenty of support services available to help you prepare. VAC/GMHC offers peer education workshops such as Young & Gay, as well as Momentum for people who are coming to terms with their sexuality.

We also have a counselling service that specialises in LGBTI issues. As mentioned previously, there are numerous stories on Staying Negative which talk about coming out. Another good resource
is Coming Out Australia — www.comingout.com.au — which goes into lots of detail about the benefits of coming out.

To find out more and get support call VAC/GMHC on 03 9865 6700.

If you want to access VAC/GMHC’s counselling service, call between 2pm and 4pm and ask to speak to a duty worker. Otherwise visit www.vicaids.asn.au to see our full range of services.

By ILAN WERBELOFF, VAC

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One response to “Coming out”

  1. If you’re looking for more stories of “coming out,” you can find a whole collection of brief stories here: http://whenicameout.com

    Many people find that others already knew and have no strong reactions. Unfortunately some are still met with painful reactions. But there is hope that people, especially family members, can change over time. And sometimes you find that coming out allows you to sort out who your true friends are.