Not a day goes by when I don’t hear about Ruby Rose. She’s either tweeting about The Voice, speaking out against bullying, posing for a men’s mag, DJing at a dance party, getting engaged to a supermodel, posing with her dog, breaking up with a supermodel or announcing a movie role.
And while that can bring on Ruby Rose fatigue, I think it’s awesome how she’s increased the visibility of queer chicks in Australia.
If Ruby was around when I was a kid, maybe I would’ve come out a lot earlier than I did. I’m sure her profile has made the journey a little less bumpy for many young’uns.
And so I write this Ode To Ruby Rose from the perspective of one of her many adoring teenage fans:
Ruby Rose, I think I’m gay and it’s because of you
You’re hot unlike the other gays and have a sick tattoo
I see you on the billboards, in mags and on TV
I really get you Ruby and I know you get me
I keep you in my pocket and read your tweets all day
So your 100,000 followers better stay the fuck away
You hang with all the cool kids and party all night long
I used to think that gays were gay but now I know that’s wrong
When I get out of high school I want to be like you
A model and a DJ and a hot TV star too
I kissed a girl the other day, her lips felt just like mine
And as long as I shave my pits, my boyfriend says it’s fine
You were so inspiring when you stripped for FHM
Those feminazi haters were just cut it wasn’t them
I told my mum about you and how close we have become
When you responded to my tweet that time I knew you were the one
Me and all my bffs admire you a lot
We can’t believe those bullies would pick on someone so hot
You’re the perfect role model for all the girls at school
Who’d of thought that being gay would ever be so cool?
You get to date models and you’re always on the go
And you got to pash 360 in his music video
You mean the world to me Ruby and so it must be true
Ruby Rose I think I’m gay and it’s because of you