Screaming Jesus

Sometimes you just can’t maintain the cynicism. Right after I rolled my eyes at a piece of US research claiming Catholics were hot for same-sex marriage, I was brought up short by news that St Columban’s Catholic College in Caboolture had banned a lecture by one of the ‘pray away the gay’ brigade.

Adam Hood, a self-styled ex-gay and reformed drug addict, was told he wasn’t welcome. Wow!
Principal Ann Rebgetz didn’t mince her words.

“St Columban’s College is a caring, inclusive community, and will not allow its facilities to be used by those seeking to promote views which are not in line with the Catholic Christian ethos of our community”, she wrote.

Executive director of Catholic Education, David Hutton backed her up, saying the Catholic Church “will not provide a venue for homophobes to spout their views”. Have you told the Pope, Dave?

Eager to behold this miracle of gay-straight conversion for myself, I headed over to YouTube.

Where I found an uber-swishy Yank sporting a sparkly gold scarf (loosely knotted around his throat à la Cliff Richard), proclaiming that though he was once the promiscuous drug-addled screaming Queen of the Castro, he is now clean of drugs and that filthy but delicious mansex, married, about to have his first child, and totally but totally loves his wife’s body etc etc.

One thing he couldn’t fix, however. He’s still a screamer.

I don’t want to go into too much detail, he says, coyly tossing his head, but on my wedding night as they consummated their union “I screamed, literally screamed, at the top of my lungs, ‘JESUS!’ ”

Ah, so that’s how you do it — just imagine you’re shagging the son of God and ‘Shazzam!’ — you can come with anyone. “And it’s holy!!” he adds.

Joking aside, Hood gloats about loading people with guilt and shame to bring them to Jesus, peddling the usual fire and brimstone stuff about filth, depravity and heading for hell via the poop-shute. Which is why he had to be stopped before he could damage vulnerable young people.

An army of GLBTI advocates bombarded the owners of other venues where Hood was scheduled to weave his fairy magic.

As a result, he was swiftly booted from more venues, leading one of the organisers to mutter darkly about threats of violence and being driven underground. Back where you belong, say I.

This swift action has saved many same-sex attracted young people from self-hatred and self-harm, but the same evil brainwashing is still being peddled in secular schools around the country by extremist ‘Christians’ sneaking into schools disguised as chaplains and religious education teachers.
Beware the screaming Jesus.