Well, it ended up as another boozy conversation, but sometimes I have to admit they are the best. I was getting the third degree from a young tourist about why I had chosen drag as a career. What made it so special and was I a prostitute?

After quickly calling her a moll because of the prostitute comment, I started to ramble on with my usual responses. You know the ones: Well, I accidentally fell into it, to be honest.

It wasn’t till she had toddled off to replenish our drinks that I started to think maybe I was always meant to be a drag queen. I understand you can’t go to your careers adviser and ask for the career prospects of a showgirl. Or what subjects you need to take to advance in this field. Maybe there is a little showgirl in all of us, and it only flowers in some of us. (Granted some flowers are those big stinky ones.)

It would be hard pressed to find any young gay boy who didn’t dress up in his mother’s or aunt’s clothes once or twice when he was younger. We all did it, but quite obviously I just never got out of them. I remember many a time when all of my brothers and sisters raided the St Vinnie’s bags and came out in some outrageous outfits and put on impromptu fashion parades, to my mother’s and grandmother’s delight and my father’s and grandfather’s horror. I really was very advanced for my age, Paris-turning my little arse off like a pro. (Yes, that was when I did have a little bum.)

If that wasn’t enough, the excessive use of pimple concealer every day at school should have given both me and them an inkling. Many school photos had me with a huge smile and the beige-est face you have ever seen. I looked like a chalky doll but I thought I looked beautiful. And no one dared tell me otherwise or I would have pounced.

Looking back, I have also been very quick-witted -“ maybe that was my unconscious training to become a showgirl. Being from a large country family, my quietness seemed to be eaten up and swallowed. If you didn’t make yourself heard and do a little song and dance whilst doing so, you would have been stuffed.

Perhaps I was always meant to be a showgirl -“ I can’t see myself doing anything else at the moment. Careers advisers everywhere should look into having a showgirl or two in on career days. Aren’t every careers adviser’s favourite words you have to keep your options open? Well, Ms Fitzgerald, mine have been open for years.

EYESPY It’s all over. The last G.A.Y. party was held last Saturday night at the Midnight Shift and it was a hoot! The G.A.Y. parties were always a hit and congratulations must go out to Chelsea, Trudi, Amelia and Johan for all their hard work. Let’s hope they pop up again soon.

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