This year I have thrown myself into the dating world, doing everything short of carrying a huge sign flashing “Available!”.
For many years I was comfortable being labelled ‘the funny friend’ and living vicariously through my friends’ sexual adventures.
But recently I have been getting my jiggie on with a new gym routine and new look, and boys now seem to turn their heads when I walk into a room.
But I have a problem I need readers’ advice about.
Four or five times now, I have gone on a date with a boy. Lots of snuggles and cuddles on the lounge end with a great goodnight kiss and an agreement to see each other again.
Text messages and phone calls follow, and before long we meet again for a romantic evening, with a bit of rolling around naked (wrestling only, I promise).
This happens a couple more times, but when I pull him up and say, where is this going, he says, “We are just friends”.
Now I’m not asking for a ring, Beyonce, but do friends now do that now?
I don’t get naked, kiss, cuddle and snuggle with my friends, but should I? Is this common practice now? Have I missed the memo?
I always felt there was a line and once you crossed it, things became something more than friendship.
I try to share my intimate moments with someone special and I’ve always thought it’s best not to complicate things with your mates.
But any good relationship should have a friendship base from the start, so maybe that’s what I’m missing.
Surely there must be rules. How many of these special friends can you have? You could find yourself bed-hopping around your whole circle before you know it! I’m not sure I want that many people to see me totally nude.
Am I being a prude or should I be out there sharing the love? I’m very confused about the whole situation.
If you have any advice on how to deal with future “just friends” scenarios or if you have a sex/mate relationship that is working, let me know.
Sounds like someone is jumping in the sack before they’ve considered whether the other person is a serious candidate for a partner. I could be wrong however it seems as though you should focus on what you’re really looking for as opposed to how you end up at square one time and time again.
I think saying they become part of a statistic is extremely pessimistic, some people are going through periods of their life where for whatever reason (lack of complications, time poor, prev bad relationships, etc) where they just want someone for sex and no complications.
Others aren’t really interested in relationships, and good luck to them.
True though, it would be nice if people would be honest up front, if you want friendship or a one-nighter sure but I don’t fuck my mates.
There are quite a few guys who seem to be like this..reality is many think you already know that’s all it’s gonna be.
I’m proactive, a simple “Are we dating or fucking” normally weeds out the FB’s from the potential dates.
Good Luck Maxi, I’m sure you’ll find someone great soon enough who’ll be in sync with what you want!
Oh and you leaving SSO sucks, love your weekly articles, always bring a smile to my face. :)
imv single and im all yours maxi!!
Very sad to hear your story,you sound like a very nice person.
You mention that They say “We are just friends” I think it’s best to keep away from these sort of people as they seem to be confused or just looking for fuckbuddys,and we all know about fucknuddys,they have lovers who have lovers who have lovers and eventually they become part of a statistic,a sad one.
Possum there are heaps of nice guys out there looking for love and wanting to settle,you just need to know where to look,and the first place is not the scene.
Good luck x