Gay Men Share What To Expect At A Sauna

Going to a gay sauna, bathhouse, or sex-on-premises venue for the first time? They can be a little nerve-racking if you don’t know what awaits you. 

Saunas are part of gay history and culture. According to Professor Kane Race of the Gender and Cultural Studies Department at the University of Sydney, sex-on-premises venues “provide a place for gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men to meet for sexual and social purposes, free from the risk of homophobic violence, abuse and entrapment.”

What To Expect At A Bathhouse

Recently, a conversation started on the AskGayMen thread on Reddit about what to expect.

The question asked, “What to expect at a bathhouse?”

One user shared, “Wear your flip-flops at all times! Or bring your own. That’s probably safer.

“Be firm and direct in saying no to anyone you don’t want to play with. There are condoms and lube sachets available in most rooms. If you’re not already on PrEP, I’d recommend playing only with condoms, you don’t know who’s using PrEP and who isn’t.

“You can say no to anyone, and you can just sit in the sauna/steam room/jacuzzi to chill for the whole event. You don’t even have to do anything sexual, can literally just exist and unwind.”

Adding a quick pointer, they wrote, “The best blowjobs will come from the men in the gloryholes. The best kisses come from those who you sneak off to a room with.”

Shower, Douche, Brush Your Teeth Beforehand

Another wrote, “Perhaps this is obvious, but prepare your body as you would for any hookup. Shower, douche (if applicable), brush your teeth, use mouthwash, etc.

“I like to walk around the facility after getting undressed, so I can see all the offerings. Throughout the night you should keep walking around as guys will occupy different spaces in groups depending on the action.”

One person, talking about their first time, said, “My first time was fun. I told them it was my first time, and the attendant spread it around. Turns out for a little while I was the prize. Went in the afternoon mostly guys my age. Yes I am hooked.”

Another didn’t seem to have as exciting a time writing, “Five hours of boredom followed by four minutes of sex.”

“Like any new place, go, hang out, enjoy nice hot bath (shower, hot tub, sauna), look around. If something pops up, you’ll know what to do,” read another comment. 

One person advised, “Don’t overthink it. And don’t assume anything about anyone’s taste in men. Everyone is different. Some like older guys. Some like overweight guys. And some don’t. It’s ok to not be everyone’s cup of tea. Put yourself out there and see what happens.