Give It To Me Bi – The Grindr Trap: Why Bi+ Men Are Easy Targets
Image: Steve and Chad from Give It To Me Bi Podcast. Photo: Daniel Boud.
‘The Grindr Trap: Why Bi+ Men Are Easy Targets’ is the June edition of our monthly bisexuality column, Give It To Me Bi.
Almost every week we see new headlines telling us that gay men are being targeted in violent crimes through dating apps like Grindr — a shocking reminder of the discrimination our communities face.
But here’s the problem: the sexuality of these victims hasn’t been confirmed. It’s been assumed. And once again, bisexual men are erased from their own story.
So, as part of our rigorous research for this month’s column we downloaded these apps (and knowing that our partners read this, we assure you that we deleted them straight after!).
What we saw confirmed what research already shows — plenty of bi+ men using these platforms, particularly in suburban areas where recent attacks occurred.
Most bi+ men aren’t out. Many use apps discreetly and avoid swapping photos to protect identities. These aren’t quirks — they’re survival tactics. Tactics which, ironically, make bi+ men even more vulnerable to blackmail and violence.
Only 1 in 5 bi+ men are out, compared to 4 in 5 gay men. Bi+ men are less connected to queer communities, less exposed to community safety messaging, and far less likely to report hate crimes.
Police told reporters they assumed the victims were gay, which shows a lack of understanding — but this is not just about language. Mislabelling these crimes means bi+ men are less likely to come forward.
We need to explicitly address the unique experiences of bi+ men in prejudice-based crimes, in data gathering, and in prevention strategies. If we don’t, the violence will continue, many victims will remain invisible, and the community will not be best prepared to protect their safety.
The ‘faceless bi man’ dating app profile is a stereotype, but we do remain faceless and forgotten in our understanding of how crime affects our community.
For info on keeping yourself safe, please check out Thorne Harbour Health’s ‘Ten Tips for Keeping Safe on Hookup Apps’ page.
