Woman Says She’ll Donate Eggs To Gay Best Friend, Enrages Husband

A woman’s post to Reddit’s ‘Am I The Asshole?’ community about having a baby with her gay best friend has caused a lot of contention on the subreddit, sparking conversations about martial communication and surrogacy.

u/Fabulous_Writing1879 shared her plight in a post titled ‘AITAH (Am I The Asshole) for having a baby with my best friend?’ where she shone a light on her current situation.

“I (26F) have a best friend (26M). He’s gay and married to his partner. I have a husband. We chose to not have kids.

“My friend and his partner decided to have a baby. My best friend is going to be the donor. Him and his partner asked me if I’d be their egg donor as they want the baby’s “mom” involved in the baby’s life.

“I was on board. However when I mentioned this to my husband he was furious. He said he didn’t like the idea of his wife having a baby with another man.

“I told him we would basically be the baby’s aunt and uncle. He was not okay and now he isn’t talking to me. So Reddit, AITAH?”

In a later edit, the woman stated that she herself would not be getting pregnant and would be donating her eggs that a surrogate would carry. Furthermore, the plan was formulated by the woman and her best friend years ago when they were unmarried. 

Response from the AITAH community

The post was met with wide derision on the subreddit, many criticising the woman’s decision to agree to the plan without first consulting him. 

Others found the fact that the woman had said she didn’t want kids but was now ready to “have a baby” with someone rather strange.

u/Beth21286 said: “Agreeing before even discussing it with him was hugely dismissive and disrespectful. He’s perfectly entitled to be hurt and angry. Why did you think it would go any other way?” 

Given the lack of info in the initial post, many comments stated that the level of assholery would be highly dependent on if she was the one carrying the child. 

After the follow-up information on the woman’s situation, some adjusted their stances somewhat. u/BeardManMichael edited his own comment to say: “I still think being involved in the child’s life is something the OP should have discussed in detail with her husband beforehand.” 

Comments sympathising with the woman are few and far between, with u/TheDrizzle7721 saying that it was nice of her to want to help her friend, but that not talking to her husband about it was the wrong call. 

With any luck, the response to this post has made this woman communicate more openly with her husband and gay best friend about this situation!