Coming out the “single most important thing” gay people can do — US Ambassador
Image: US Ambassador to Australia John Berry. (Photo: Ann-Marie Calilhanna; Star Observer)
THE US Ambassador to Australia has made an impassioned plea for gay people to come out of the closet, saying it is only by being honest that positive change for LGBTI people will occur.
In an, at times, emotional speech to LGBTI business people in Sydney recently, John Berry discussed his father’s struggle to accept him as gay, his prediction that same-sex marriage would be legalised across the US and that his country had now “overtaken” Australia on marriage equality.
Berry, who married his partner Curtis Yee in 2013, made the comments at this month’s Sydney Gay and Lesbian Business Association (SGLBA) Long Table Canapés networking event.
“I can’t tell you how sad I am when I see people in this day and age who are still in the closet,” Berry said.
“Yes it’s hard, but the only reason that things have changed is enough of us have come out to knock down the stereotypes that allowed people to paint us as paedophiles and criminals.”
On coming out, Berry said: “It remains the single most important thing that each and every one of us can do.”
The ambassador used the example of his own father who was initially not supportive when he came out.
“He said ‘I know you mentioned there was someone in your life — don’t bring them out to the house’,” Berry recalled.
“My mum said give him time, so we did and we worked on it, and everyone else in the family got to know Tom.
“One year my dad said, ‘why you don’t bring Tom next Sunday’.”
Every stereotype his father harboured was shattered, said Berry, who commented that his dad was struck by his partner’s integrity and bravery particularly in the face of HIV.
“Ten years later, when [Tom] was dying I called my mum and dad and I said if you want to say goodbye you’d better come now and within a half an hour they were there,” Berry said.
“My dad held Tom in his arms, crying, weeping, saying I love you like my own son.
“That change took 10 years but it would never have happened had I not taken that first step and come out.”
Berry’s father, who was a US Marine, would later become a vocal advocate for allowing gay people to serve openly in the US military.
The ambassador, who has headed several government departments, said he was surprised that Australians were now looking to the US as a leader in gay equality.
“You were always ahead of us on every issue regarding LGBT rights — name anything you were already there and we had a lighthouse that we relied on, a north star by which we steered by, it was Australia,” Berry said.
“I remind the youth that while the United States may have overtaken you on one issue for a short period of time you shouldn’t begrudge us that one moment of leadership.”
When it meets in April, Berry said he thought the US Supreme Court was likely to legalise same-sex marriage across the 13 laggard states by a slim majority: “If I were to predict I would predict that was going to be the case but our supreme court is never to be predicted so we will see.”
SGLBA president Mark Haines concurred with Berry’s message that business should continue to take a leadership position on equality, and said his speech was both powerful and passionate.
“[Berry] has had an extraordinary career and accomplished much in the name of equality,” he said.
Fruits in Suits’ next monthly event will be held at 6pm on Thursday March 19 at the Civic Hotel, Goulburn St Sydney. The next Long Table Canapés will be held at Telstra’s Innovation Centre in late May.
(from me as an individual)
I appreciate the Ambassador has his opinions; I would like to raise some points:
marriage is not the primary or only indicator of LGBTI progress;
Australia achieved full federal coverage of LGBTI including the world-first intersex protection in 2013 and no-one was “thrown under the bus” as was the case in the equivalent 2010 Employment Non-Discrimination Amendment debate in the USA;
I therefore feel it is condescending and “global north” for the ambassador to be “surprised that Australians were now looking to the US as a leader in gay equality.”
I’d add it’s not the first time visiting Americans have failed to fully investigate the Australian scenario and respect local conditions.
see also http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andrew-park/10-things-that-international-lgbt-community_b_6642038.html
Sally you are 100% correct!
We do not have marriage equality within Australia, but we have very board federal/state/territory anti-discrimination that’s includes sexual orientation, gender identity, marital or relationship status and intersex status since 2013 – something the whole of the US federally lacks (only 20 states in the US have some form of anti-discrimination protection on both sexual orientation and/or gender identity – CT, ME, CA, OR, WA, DC, RI, MA, MI, DE, NJ, VT, NV, IL, IO, UT, CO, NM, HI and PR and 3 states in the US on some form of anti-discrimination protection on sexual orientation only – NH, NY and WI)!
(from me as an individual)
I have a lot of respect for John Berry; I do take some issue with “The ambassador … said he was surprised that Australians were now looking to the US as a leader in gay equality.”
Australia has achieved federal equal opportunity law and the USA doesn’t have the equivalent being ENDA (Employment non-discrimination Act) .
We covered trans and gender diverse inclusion in our law, co-operatively achieved the world first inclusion of intersex status and no-one was thrown under the bus – unlike the USA.
All our states/territories allow for relatively easy name change for trans/gender diverse, one allows for marker change on self-affirmed identity and all others are on a surgery basis – can the USA say that?
I feel very frustrated when people from overseas don’t get their facts right and/or dictate to us – so-called “global north” attitude.
Se also http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andrew-park/10-things-that-international-lgbt-community_b_6642038.html
I really wish people would ask questions and listen first. Small grrhsspit.
That is not true Sally. Trans* people still do not have equality! Trans* and intersex people still have no formal recognition in the births deaths and marriages register of nearly all states/territories (the ACT currently has full recognition of Trans* and intersex people since 2013) – Trans* people especially are not recognised, if they have not had surgery! You should not have to have gender surgery – to have your gender identity or intersex to be fully recognised! Trans* people in 7 out of 8 jurisdictions of Australia have to undergo a horrible “forced divorce” if that trans* person is already married! This has to change! The ACT about 2 years passed legislation to abolish this requirement!
I appreciate people may have different interpretations about what they read;
I’m not sure how anything I said could be interpreted as saying trans people have equality. I simply compared the Australian trans situation to the USA one.
This is an amazing and empowering article! Let’s continue to work together to put Australia back in the lead on this and all other issues relating to humanitarian and human rights!
Yes but unlike the U.S. gay sex is legal in every state and territory in Australia, so…
In 2003, the US Supreme Court under Lawrence V Texas INVALIDATED all anti-gay sodomy laws throughout the US!
In 2015, hopefully the US Supreme Court INVALIDATES all anti-gay marriage laws throughout the US!