‘The LGBTQIA+ Community Preaches Love & Acceptance – But Needs More Respect‘ is an opinion piece written by Robert Ristevski.
As a 48-year-old gay man, I feel compelled to share my thoughts and experiences regarding the state of respect within our own community. It’s a heartfelt reflection born out of years of personal encounters—both positive and painfully negative—that have left me disappointed and questioning how we can foster a more compassionate environment.
Our community is often described as a place of acceptance, love, and support. Yet, too frequently, I have witnessed and experienced behaviours that starkly contradict these ideals. From being called derogatory names to receiving unsolicited and explicit images, the reality is that many of us fall short of the respect we claim to seek within our community.
I have been publicly insulted—called “daddy,” told I am “too old,” or labeled as “ugly.” I am an athletically fit guy.
I’ve also been subjected to disrespectful remarks about my HIV status, despite being non-detectable and transparent about my health. I’ve faced gay guys spitting, being called “dirty,” or told I “deserve it.”
These actions are not isolated incidents but part of a troubling pattern that undermines the very foundation of our community.
It is disheartening that in a community built on shared struggles and the pursuit of love and dignity, we often resort to cruelty and judgment. How can we expect to cultivate respect and kindness among ourselves when we so readily dismiss these values through words and actions?
We are a small but vibrant community. Our strength lies in unity, mutual support, and genuine respect. We must ask ourselves: How can we move forward? How can we rebuild trust and foster an environment where everyone feels safe, valued, and loved?
The answer begins with self-awareness and accountability. We need to challenge ourselves to treat others with dignity, regardless of age, appearance, health status, or any other difference.
Respect is the cornerstone of true community—a community that supports, uplifts, and stands together in both celebration and adversity.
Let us remember that behind every face is a story, a struggle, and a desire for acceptance.
If we truly want our community to thrive, we must commit to kindness, understanding, and respect for one another. Only then can we become the inclusive, supportive community we aspire to be.
