No doubt about it — the world’s gone i-crazy.
Staring mindlessly at an infomercial the other night, I found my senses assaulted by product placement, bombarded with logos and shrewdly placed brand names.
E.T. nibbled Hershey’s back in the ’80s, everyone on the big screen is drinking Coke and using a Nokia, and Beyonce, Britney and Pink have all pushed Pepsi. The list goes on — even NMG is proudly presented by Gaydar, among others.
But these days, it’s all about the i. It started with the interwebby, then the iPhone launched a phenomenon of i-proportions. We drew the line, however, at iSnack2.0 — possibly the lamest attempt ever to tap into the millennial mindset.
Nevertheless, we still ache for the i. We’re iHearting iFriends via iChat from iPhones. We’re hooked on iPump Pilates, Grindr, and uploading to guyswithiphones.com. There’s even an app on its way to order pizza from your iPhone.
But how far will it all go?
Maybe one day, my iLarm will wake me for an iShower, I’ll throw back an iShake, then jump into the iCar, plug in my iPod and head off to my job in IT.
Yup, our vertical little friend with the dot is everywhere. And it’s probably only a matter of time before the i-craze pervades the wonderful world of infomercials too — another inane fascination of mine.
Does anyone really fall for those late night SMS scams though? I guess if you’re a pervy desperado, you may find yourself texting ‘wild’ and paying premium dollars for being a schmuck. Though I can’t imagine anyone other than horny hetero boys getting busy with their phones. Clearly, that’s what the internet’s for.
But really — does anyone genuinely believe if they SMS a 1900 number, they can find their soulmate, see when they’re going to die, or download cutting-edge x-ray vision to gawk at women’s pink bits?
Honestly people, who falls for this shit?
Like most of gay Australia, I tuned in to Idol recently to catch Liza. And wholly bejesus — commer-cialised much? I think it’s all brought to us by Mazda. Or is it Maccas we’re wolfing-down while voting for our ‘Rexona Moment’ for a spot in the ‘Mentos Mosh Pit’? And doesn’t that sound like a hoot?
But if you’ll excuse me until next week, I have yoga with the Wii, and my iPhone is about to give birth.

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