Or is it? It is no big secret that when scrolling through profiles on Grindr, Manhunt, Gaydar or any other gay networking site/app, you will find a number of people who feel it is acceptable to exclude people on the basis of their race. A common phrase that I have seen is ‘No Asians please’.
Ironic that people even bother to say please when the statement itself is so rude and hurtful.
Generally what people are doing when they are being sexually racist is saying that there is a particular feature that they are not attracted to, and that everyone from a certain ethnic background has that feature.
This may mean a big cock, a small cock, dark skin, light skin or any other physical characteristics.
To say that everyone in an ethnic group has that particular attribute is a form of racism.
Now I can appreciate, at this point in your life, that there are physical attributes that you may not be attracted to or get turned off by.
However it is one thing to not be attracted to a particular physical attribute, it is another thing entirely to say that everyone in a particular ethnic group has that feature and think it’s okay to post that on a dating profile. Posts that exclude people on the basis of race are hurtful.
A good way of changing the way you communicate is rather then expressing what you are not interested in, talk about what you are interested in. There are many profiles where people talk about themselves and say things such as “gym, fit and masc, looking for the same”.
So clearly I, being a skinny white guy, would not be someone they are interested in. However by presenting it like this, I don’t feel excluded.
What do you think you have that people aren’t physically attracted to? Would you like that to be rubbed in your face continually? What about a guy’s personality?
Saying you don’t sleep with people of certain ethnic backgrounds is a very limited approach. Who knows what you’re missing? Quite frankly you might be missing out on the best night of your life.
One thing I did see which I thought was commendable was someone whose profile said “no racist statements”. Wouldn’t that be great if we all posted that on our profiles?
If we all did this then it would show that sexual racism in not tolerated and hopefully put a stop to it. So here’s my call to action, get online and put that in your profile.
If you see someone with a racist statement challenge them about it, yes I know it can be a mood kill, and they may be really hot, but at some point we need to stop condoning this as acceptable behavior.
If you already have this statement, challenge yourself about this and try and overcome your own prejudice.
By ILAN WERBELOFF
Victorian AIDS Council/Gay Men’s Health Centre