When describing my job I sometimes say, “I’m very similar to a stripper, but I wear more clothes and probably less makeup”.

Apart from club gigs I get fabulous private bookings.

A common question I get is, “Do you do birthdays?” Of course I do, but if you’re serious about me working at your birthday, remember, I never talk about work when I’m at work. I  usually hand over a card and wait for a call at a more appropriate time.

Some of my most memorable experiences have been at private functions. Although you can confirm a million times that there will be a sound system, cleared area and microphone, you don’t know until you arrive.

I was once booked to perform at a 70th birthday for a fabulous lesbian. I’d asked many times if they had a loud sound system and it had been confirmed. When I walked in, there was a Walkman hooked up to the smallest speakers ever made — my earrings were bigger.

I’m not saying size is everything because I once went to Warwick Farm for a 40th birthday. I arrived at a huge event with a band and hundreds of people. “Now you’re fine to do the yodel?” I was asked. “Of course I am,” I replied.

“Oh, when you speak don’t mention the birthday boy is gay — his family doesn’t know. He’s the one in the floral shirt … but don’t mention his weight.”

If your night needs a touch of glamour, why not throw in a showgirl? There is something crazy and surreal about having a big, shiny drag queen sneak into your venue or house, then explode in a burst of colour and Kylie in front of your guests.

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