Apparently, I’m a technophobic naysayer. No, not really. I’m just not into Grindr.
Social networking rocks my world. From SuBo’s makeover to Obama’s landmark speeches. Indulging Kylie’s latest ditty to enduring Ruddy’s tweets; we’re hooked. Even those neo-Luddites who vowed they’d never, ever surrender — well, they’re on Facebook too.
We’re connected around the clock, often with people we’ve never met. I recently caught myself glancing at someone’s profile who isn’t even in my list. What is happening to me? Am I a stalker now? Clearly, he should know better and attend to his privacy settings, toot sweet!
Everyone’s an authority on everything. Model, artist, performer, VJ, cyber-spokesperson. Some strike gold, others flounder. I don’t much care for your blog. No one does. At best, your friends may skim it. And no, I don’t want to join your fan page. I’m sure you’re swell, but I don’t even know who you are. I have 496 ‘other requests’ and I’m attending 67 events this weekend. I’m a busy person, you see.
I’m  full-time fancy now. We’re all fabulous in our brave new worlds. We have thousands of ‘friends’ telling us so. A multimedic orgy. The same-sex rights rally, party peeps in Mykonos. The dish on MasterChef, Madge and Olivia’s botox bungles. And yessum, Glee is going Gaga.
I can’t remember the last time I went to a post office. And why wait for TV when eps are available commercial-free before they even reach our shores? Dating sites have our relationships covered, and eBay just about covers the rest.
Google is my Yoda. Do I have cankles or has a vital organ failed? Wikipedia will tell me. Who reads the paper? The PDFs are online with that delightful page-turning sound. Between VoIP and Skype, I must look like a call centre troll. But why even step out the front door? It’s all good. Or is it? Maybe I’ll blog about it. Or at least update my status.
And the sad irony? It’s funny ‘cos it’s true.

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