Not long after I’d lost my lesbian-virginity my more experienced lady friend swung me a couple of lesbian sex books — a comprehensive ‘how to’ guide and some hardcore erotic fiction.
I’m not sure if she was saying I was pretty average in the sack or if she took pleasure in shocking me, but these books certainly opened my eyes to the potential of what two girls, or even more, could get up to.
As someone who strives to excel in all areas of life, I took it upon myself to memorise and master the content of these books, just as if I were cramming for an exam. To be honest, I found 70 percent of the chapters about as stimulating as a chemistry textbook, but I figured topics like dildo-sucking and anal-fisting must be a mega turn-on for some ladies so I’d better prepare myself. While I’d dutifully mastered the art of oral sex, I really didn’t need to be told I’d been “devouring her sweet spicy nectar”. Ewww.
I was left wondering who actually did this shit and started going through all the lesbian couples I knew in my head. Even these days I wonder which of my friends have tried 101 love-making positions or engage in marathon tantric sex. Reading these books can make even the most adventurous chick feel a tad vanilla.
Over the years I’ve come to the theory that most couples try things once, crack up laughing (or in unfortunate cases injure themselves), then go back to the usual tricks that get their lover over the line. But like any thrill ride, the fun is in the risk-taking.
Lesbian sex books are awesome for discovering what gets you off and expanding your repertoire. They can also be quite reaffirming in the sense that that weird little thing that turns you on isn’t so weird after all — it’s in a book so clearly you’re not the only freak.
As a baby dyke I found the books helpful in figuring out my ‘role’ in sexual encounters — the top/bottom, butch/femme kind of stuff. While the idea of a role has become less important over time, it’s handy to have a language to refer to sexual dynamics. They don’t teach you this shit in school — and that’s probably for the best — but can you imagine how popular high school libraries would be if they did?
