Scaredy cats

I forgot my father sings a lot. Badly, out of tune, replacing words to suit his mood. This can be very frustrating when trying to join in, remember the words to the song, or even just follow the song as you know it.

For years he has been an avid cyclist. His round trip to work was up to 90 kms. Starting work at 7am meant early departures on rural roads not famous for their bike-friendliness.

I should hardly have been surprised by the exercise bike that has take up residence in his room in the aged care facility where he now holds court.

Did Dad stop singing? He was told regularly and forcefully by friends, family and bosses that his tones were dulcimer only to the ears of the dogs who whined along with him.

No way — he became a cycling troubadour. A former schoolmate told me, “Your old man would ride past our house at 6am singing his lungs out”.

Why does he sing? I took him out for an excursion, and as his feet hit the footpath on the way to the car he was off. Two songs later, we were buckled in.

Dad struggles with the formulation of concepts and structures to express his thoughts. His song is his voice. It carries his passion, humour, sorrow and joy to all within earshot.

His expression in song carries memories, events and people. It is a tangible link reinforced by the rehearsing of lyrics that transport him to places and times of great pleasure or pain. When one of his brood or spawned grand-brood begin a song, his inhibitions peel away like onion skins.

A shy young gay man turned up at a gay sports club. His inhibitions prevented him from showing affection and enjoying gay banter. He was clearly uncomfortable with team interaction.

The combination of negative sporting experiences, social shyness, familial pressures and perceived social perceptions about being gay were debilitating. Over a three-month period it is amazing to witness the transformation and self-acceptance about being gay. The liberation of the true person within came slowly, a little at a time.

Team Sydney provides 28 different groups, the door to a group of people who accept you, will provide peer and team support, yet challenge your perceptions about who you are and what you are capable of achieving. The vision of maximum participation, personal best and inclusion will provide freedom to express who you were born to be. Find us at www.teamsydney.org.au