Ruby Rose, Missy Higgins and Penny Wong. Who’d you shoot, who’d you shack up with and who’d you shag? Too bad if none of them deserve death, you must pick an option for each – and you can’t bang Ruby AND Missy. That’s greedy.

What about Lady Gaga, Lindsay Lohan and Amy Winehouse? I know, I know – wrongtown. Never mind that one of them has already passed on, imagine having to get intimate with Gaga or LiLo? Ewww.

Such is the fun of ‘Shoot, Shack or Shag?’ – the game that had a group of us girls crying with laughter at a housewarming party last weekend. The wronger the options, the better it is.

We were shrieking so loudly that some boys joined in which made it even more fun. Imagine hearing a burly straight guy justify why he’d have sex with Smurfette over Kevin Rudd’s wife, Therese Rein. Or hearing a gay guy confess that he’d turn straight for Whoopi Goldberg over Cameron Diaz, which even had the lesbians perplexed.

The best part of the game is the reasoning behind people’s decisions. I had to think long and hard when presented with three rock options – Peaches, Beth Ditto and Kelly Osbourne.

Generally the most obvious choice isn’t the smartest – sure Peaches might be the hottest but it’d be all about her. Beth Ditto is the coolest but I can see things getting too “lesbian” too quickly. And Kelly would probably be the most annoying but she comes from rock ‘n’ roll royalty. So I decided to shag Beth, marry into Ozzy Osbourne’s fortune and shoot Peaches, just because unfortunately that’s the way it panned out. But she could probably pass it off as performance art so no, well only a little, harm done.

So back to Ruby, Missy and Penny. Can’t shoot Penny because she’s about to be a mum. I don’t fancy her for a one-night stand but I reckon she’d make good conversation – so looks like we’re shacking up. Ruby may be the poster girl for all things sexy but I’ve been crushing on Missy forever so can’t be disloyal now. Sorry Ruby.

We realised the game was over when someone suggested Santa, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny.

I’ll leave you with that thought.

By MONIQUE SCHAFTER

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