The Charter of Rights: A Fairy Story

The Charter of Rights: A Fairy Story

The Little People of the land petitioned the Wizard for a Charter of Rights. For centuries they had been bullied by the Goddy Folk, who told them what rights they could have, and if they didn’t like it, they could lump it.
The Little People wanted a Charter to guarantee fairness for everyone. The Wizard, who did not like making decisions until he was sure everyone would like them, created a Committee to tell him if the Charter was a good idea. That way, if it turned out to be popular, he would get the credit, and if it all went pear-shaped, it would be the Committee’s fault.
The Rainbow People were especially happy, having been bossed around by the Goddy Folk more than most.
Now the Wizard secretly feared the Goddy Folk. He even tried to look like one of them, making sure he was photographed visiting one of their temples at least once a week. So to placate them he appointed a famous priest as Committee Chair.
But the Goddy Folk trusted neither the Wizard nor the priest, shouting loudly at every committee hearing that they ought to keep their special rights over everyone else, because they were better than everyone else, because their all-powerful God said so.  God, being omniscient, did not waste his time attending the Hearings.
Eventually the Committee, having used up a great deal of the Little People’s time and money, said ‘Yes, a charter was a good idea … but’, and basically left it up to the Wizard to decide.
The Wizard was still unwilling to touch this with a bargepole, so he told Prince Robert to hand out a lot of consolation prizes instead, in the shape of more inquiries, committees, reviews, education programs and (mainly) press releases, hoping that the Little People, having learned their place, would shut up.
To mollify Prince Lindsay (who worried that the Rainbow People in his shire might revolt), a press release about maybe looking into possible discrimination one day was issued with his name attached. Rainbow People began moving into the forest, dressed in green.
Princess Julia (who collects portfolios the way Imelda Marcos collects shoes), was only too delighted to grab the education programs.
The Wizard, meanwhile, said nothing. He was struggling with a problem of his own, having developed a strange compulsion to visit sick people and pat them.
This made life very difficult for the hospitals, who had their days disrupted by the arrival of the Wizard, a coachload of advisers, security men, journalists, and television crews, who tended to park anywhere and block the ambulance bays.
The Rainbow People pondered their next move. It was a only a faint hope, but … perhaps they could tempt Princess Julia — who was big on inclusion — with an especially pretty, colourful portfolio, as Special Minister for Rainbow People?

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One response to “The Charter of Rights: A Fairy Story”

  1. I can’t wait for us to sing “Hooray for the witch is dead, Kevin Rudd’s vote’s dead, Hooray, the Evil witch is dead”.