The Vanity Fair gene

The Vanity Fair gene

Some of us have it, some of us don’t.

I am talking about the Vanity Fair gene — the ability to create something fabulous out of nothing. The always-gorgeous Courtney Act (who now calls Hollywood home) and I discussed this gene during our early years.

We both thought we were born without the VF gene. We could come up with something fabulous, but never to the level Vanity would with just two safety pins and a plastic bag she’d found in the kitchen.

Over the years Courtney’s and my genes have flourished and now we are confident about creating to the amazing level Vanity set.

There is no better time to observe this gene than Halloween — from lifelike corpse brides to the two-dollar shop masks that stink after 30 minutes due to inadequate ventilation.

After working the fabulous Food and Wine Fair, I went out as Elphaba (the witch from Wicked). Elphaba isn’t your run-of-the-mill ugly witch. She is quite beautiful. Turning my pan-stick up to green and shading with yellow (thank you, Vanity), I covered every bit of skin with black or green.

I looked frightfully great. Green skin seems to bring out my green eyes. Standing outside after my show, I was approached by a girl in the most slapped-together outfit I have ever seen. She had chunky small-heeled
boots on, fishnet stockings, short shorts, a Hello Kitty top, cat ears and a homemade tail.

“I’m so glad someone else went to a bit of effort,” she said.

I almost feel off my seven-inch heels! Where was the effort?

“Piss off Catwoman,” I blurted and swished off in a huff.

It wasn’t until I finished getting changed into another extraordinary outfit that I stopped to think.

Maybe Catwoman was missing the VF gene. She might have thought her costume was a lot of effort. It wouldn’t have hurt me to drag Catwoman upstairs to rub a lipstick across her face. I’m sure she isn’t the only Catwoman out there who needs our help.

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