Planking for equality

Planking for equality

If you’re reading this, the world didn’t end on Saturday during the much talked-about day of Rapture. The Christian nutjobs didn’t get their slice of Heaven, and after a cracking turn-out at the equality rally in Sydney, the rest of us had to go back to work on Monday.

Well, those of us who weren’t planking or teapotting.

Planking was bound to end up in the headlines sooner or later, as most online crazes do — unfortunately, this was for all the wrong reasons. I have another idea though — a gay and lesbian version of the fad, combining the two.

Yes, get ready for poofter planking or, as I like to call it, tea planking.

I can’t really plank anyway, on account of my lack of core strength. Tea planking sounds infinitely camper. And it is — all you do is lie in the planking position, preferably away from balcony ledges or heights. In bed will do. I can just tell I’m selling this already.

Then all that remains is to mimic your favourite teapot pose, whatever that might be. I don’t believe Madge covered that in Vogue, so you may have to improvise.

The only other optional alternative is to display a sign somewhere in your online media pic that draws attention to GLBTI rights. Extra points are given to captions that comically tap into some of the graver issues we face, like depression, for example.

“Trained counsellors, not rock-spiders.” Or “Funding for queer youth — or I’ll plank.”

As SSO recently reported, Gillard has just accepted an open letter from Christian Lobby group, FamilyVoice Australia, opposing same-sex marriage. This lot is tied up with Fred Nile. Say no more.

However, shouldn’t the pressure now be on the PM to meet with same-sex activists? Otherwise, what message is she sending? That she’s only prepared to hear one side of the argument — the one that matches the Government’s current position on marriage equality?

No, something smells rotten here. I don’t want to get too political and end up like Ben Grubb, and get arrested for speaking my mind and have my laptop seized. What would I do without my laptop? But with Gillard languishing in the polls, maybe it’s time for her to stand up and show some chutzpah.

Tea planking — where even rangas can support equality.

info: Don’t forget to follow SSO at @star_observer and Damien @damientweeting

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4 responses to “Planking for equality”

  1. I wish these “I don’t want to get married so stop going on about it” queens would get a clue ! It is not necessarily about what u want, maybe it is about what we as s community should be entitled to be legally recognized as the equals we are. As things stands straights can marry their partners and we can not, by definition this is called inequality ! Time to get with the programme Australia !

  2. Here we go again with wanting to get married!!! I am gay and I do not want to get married so please stop ramming it down my throat