Gay sex can be more complicated than a Grey’s Anatomy season 12 plot line (actually any Grey’s Anatomy plot line).

With an unending list of niches and seemingly unlimited kinks to explore, it can be both incredibly exciting and overwhelming at the same time.

The latest “thing” people are now branding themselves is G0Y.

G0Ys are men who are attracted to men, but don’t wish to be called gay as they reject anal sex and femininity (the “A” in gay stands for “anal,” they claim on their website).

Critics are saying it’s a new way of bottom shaming. I agree, there’s a difference between not wanting to bottom, and thinking it is disgusting. One is normal and doesn’t need a new term; the other is a serious form of internalised homophobia that makes my skin crawl.

However, the G0Y trend has got me thinking about anal sex. Stay with me and let me explain.

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 All my life, I’ve mostly been a bottom, but in the last year something has changed within me, something is not the same. A “wicked” swap from bottom to top has me confused as to what position I like more.

With Miss Rona keeping me in isolation, I’ve been driven further away from wanting to bottom. I can’t decide whether I’m out of practice, don’t want to douche, or scared of catching COVID-19. But someone’s got to bottom, right?

The ancient Greeks and Romans had similar attitudes towards gay sex as these G0Y boys.

Different writers, and different periods of time, produce varied accounts, but generally if you were the top and you were having anal sex with a younger person, or a slave, then it was seen as good fun. If you were the bottom… I think it was Plato that defined it as “yuk.”

The same attitude has trickled down to today.

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 I recently broke it off with a guy because he wouldn’t even let me touch his butt. He couldn’t get enough of mine, but the second I even lightly grazed one of his cheeks, he would jump up and reiterate that he doesn’t like anal.

When a top turns his nose up at receiving anal sex, when he hasn’t even given it a proper go himself, it makes you feel like a dumpster… yes that type of dumpster. But on the other hand, what happens when you get too many bottoms?

It’s said that “Sydney is full of bottoms” but I’m always shocked when I find out there are two bottoms in a relationship.

Of course, sex isn’t the be all and end all in a relationship, and there are many creative solutions in the realm of gay sex. But I don’t want to be doing “rock, paper, scissors” whenever I want to have sex with my partner.

The G0Y trend is ridiculous. Even though I don’t like bottoming at the moment, it doesn’t mean I don’t identify as GAY, or disrespect those who do love bottoming. Someone has to do it.
Maybe I’ll give it a go again when COVID-19 restrictions ease.

For now, back to Grey’s Anatomy.

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