The running man

I joke that I am from Porpoise Spit -“ I grew up on the Gold Coast near where part of Muriel’s Wedding was filmed. I have seen the film four or fives times and it always makes me giggle because there are a lot of similarities with where I lived, although I didn’t marry the gorgeous South African swimmer.

When I came to Sydney in 1988 Queensland had spent many years under premier Joh Bjelke-Petersen. It was very right-wing conservative and homosexuality was illegal. The Gold Coast was quite homophobic. I had a lot of lesbian friends but not a lot of gay male friends.

I am one of six kids. When I was growing up my father was very homophobic and emotionally abusive. As I was discovering my sexuality when I was about 17, my brother, who was slightly older, was becoming a born-again Christian. That combination at the same time is not good. We went through a very difficult period where we couldn’t be in the same room without wanting to kill each other.

My brother outed me to my family when I was 19. I was called around to Mum and Dad’s place one day after he had told them. It was an awful, awful moment. This was 1987, the era of if you’re a gay man, you’re going to die within six months of AIDS. There was a lot of fear, blame and ignorance.

I came to Sydney to spread my wings when I was 20. I packed up my little car and said I was going away for a three-month working holiday and never went back. Sydney suited me much more and I was able to grow into myself.

I was already identifying as a gay man but Sydney was far more accepting. I threw myself into the gay community. It was all about going to Oxford Street and partying and not really embracing the health aspect of my life.

In the early 1990s I had a life shift and realised I didn’t like my friends and I didn’t like the person I’d become. I moved house and got a new flatmate and opened up a whole new circle of friends who were very much into going to the gym and that whole 1990s fashion where everyone was doing aerobics and that sort of thing.

I’ve been involved in Frontrunners since 2003. I had been running off and on for 10 or 15 years and a friend joined Frontrunners. I went one Saturday morning with him and was instantly struck by the fantastically welcoming feel from the group.

In 2005 I joined the Frontrunners committee and in May last year I took over as president. The group is all about running and athletics and is passionate about it, but at all levels. So it’s not just about being an elite athlete. It’s inclusive for everybody. We also do a lot of social activities.

San Francisco Frontrunners started Little Black Dress Run and gave us permission to hold it here as part of the Mardi Gras festival. We do one lap around Centennial Park, which is 4km. It takes about 40 minutes because we run for a bit, then stop and take photographs and so on.

We encourage people to wear a Little Black Dress on the day. We go to charity shops beforehand and buy black dresses, so if people come along and don’t have one we can give one to them. Little Black Dress Run is on Saturday 10 February this year.

We are donating money raised on the day to Camp Goodtime. They are based at the Sydney Children’s Hospital at Randwick and run a camp every year for kids living with HIV. Our cash target is $3,000 for them this year but I am quietly hoping to smash that.

As for how things are with my family now, my dad is 80 and we think he has early Alzheimer’s disease. In the last 18 months he has suddenly relaxed. He has basically forgotten to be angry and forgotten who he hated.

My partner and I can now go home and have dinner with Mum and Dad or stay the night. Two years ago we couldn’t do that. But I am sad it has taken this with my dad’s health for it to happen.

As for my brother, in the last 10 years or so the religious side has fallen away somewhat for him, and I have mellowed too. I have a great relationship with him now.

Interview by Ian Gould

Little Black Dress Run is on Saturday 10 February from 9am. Meet at Centennial Park’s Paddington Gates, corner Oxford St, Moore Park Rd and Lang Rd. Entry is by donation. For more information visit www.sydneyfrontrunners.org.