An uncomfortably large number of gentlemen might be questioning their device collection this year when it was revealed that at least one person, who’d locked their junk up tight for the night (and beyond) in an internet-enabled male chastity device, clocked a rather rude surprise when they received the disconcerting message “hahaha I have your cock now, send 0.02 BTC… or you’ll be locked forever.”

My first reaction would have been a panicked “how TF do I find 0.02 Bitcoin!?!” But perhaps someone who is ok with locking up their secret bits in an internet-enabled male chastity device would be more capable of laying their hands on a bitcoin ransom rather more rapidly than this country bumpkin from FNQ but, I digress.

The security flaw in the Cellmate Chastity Cage first came to light in October 2020, when Alex Lomas, a researcher at UK-based security research group Pen Test Partners, revealed that by exploiting a serious vulnerability in the app that came with the sex toy, a hacker could lock the device permanently from a remote location. It didn’t take long for the baddies to take note and in January 2021 it has been reported that several people have fallen victim to just such a scheme.

According to a screenshot posted to Twitter by vx-underground, a website that collects malware samples, the extortionist demanded of one victim 0.02 Bitcoin (almost AUD$1000 in todays money) to be paid or they’ll be “locked forever”, though it appears after a bit of research that there are emergency exits available to the victims.

Cock Up Revealed

In a disclosure timeline that’s enough to make your blood run cold, especially if you happen to trust random tech companies with lock out access to your own dongle, Qiui, the China-based
manufacturer of the device and Pen Test Partners, who flagged the initial issue, communicated
back and forth about a possible fix for the problem.

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 This exchange including such gems as “Qiui responded back to the retailers that the remaining issues would be fixed ‘in August’” (2020) and also “Qiui said they didn’t want to fix (or couldn’t) as they “only” had $50,000”.

Full Release Option

BUT we’re glad to report a happy ending. If you’ve found yourself a victim of this ballsy extortion, there is a solution that doesn’t require a mad dash for a Bitcoin ransom, an embarrassing trip to Emergency Department or an up-close and personal date with an angle grinder – just follow this link to a troubleshooting video from the oh so helpful team at Cellmate.

It goes through an easy escape route that only requires a carefully placed screwdriver and removal of a steel bar, though they have the balls to advise that this ‘Emergency Escape’ hatch option voids the warranty!

It’s enough to make you testy!

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