Dying for equality

LGBTI people are often denied the respect and support offered to straight people while their loved ones are dying.

Melbourne lesbian couple Rose Mann and Philomena Horsley sought out palliative care a few years ago when Mann’s brother, Bob, was

dying.

Horsley said they were nervous about letting a palliative care nurse into their house following an “uncomfortable experience in hospital”.

“We felt that some of the treatment we received was homophobic by nature,” she said.

Horsley said that all changed when they met with the Melbourne Citymission Palliative Care team, describing them as “overtly welcoming”.

“Not only did they provide excellent and sensitive and caring support during the weeks Rose’s brother was dying with us but at no time did we feel any discomfort from them in terms of our relationship,” Horsley said.

Horsley said she was fully included in all the discussions and treated like an equal family member.

In the last 48 hours before Bob’s death, he was moved to a Catholic hospital.

Horsley said the couple had to explain repeatedly their relationship and her presence to doctors and nurses.

While sitting in the waiting room, Horsley said she found a hospital newsletter which said it did not accept gay or lesbian relationships as equals.

“Immediately you feel back on guard again from potential negative attitudes or discrimination or needing to justify your relationship again,” she said.

Melbourne Citymission Palliative Care manager Michael Bramwell said he had heard of many cases similar to Horsley’s.

He said Citymission wanted to show it was a genuinely LGBTI-friendly service, instead of just a token effort.

“All of our work is done in people’s homes and a lot of people need to know when someone is coming into their home that they won’t be judged or criticised,” he said.

So CityMission applied for the Rainbow Tick, an accreditation process for LGBTI-inclusive measures, and will be one of the pilot sites.

“We see the Rainbow Tick process as important to us as an organisation to ensure we give the best care possible to our diverse community at this very important time in our clients’ lives,” Bramwell said.

Palliative Care Australia president Dr Scott Blackwell said palliative care was about living and dying well and supporting not only individuals but also their families and carers.