Blow jobs, head jobs, gobbies then goo. The first three are slang terms used to describe the erotic and revered art form that is fellatio. The fourth is because I needed a ‘g’ word and it kinda works as a euphemism for the result of a good old-fashioned and well-executed session of fellatio!

The difference in the levels of enthusiasm between the two main groups that might be expected to perform this magic trick is vast.

Comparing many women who, anecdotally according to pop culture and my own personal discussions at least, would rather fold the exact same fitted sheet repeatedly for eternity, in hell,  than stick that icky thing in their mouths and gay men who in my experience, though this could be the company I keep, (doubtful), can’t get it in their greedy gobs quick enough!

And there are many factors to consider!

Are you squeamish about your gag reflex? Does that recently presented sausage pass the sniff test? Where else has that thing been today?

If you’re a gay man the only question is – do I have time to get this in me before I have to be back in the office before my lunch break ends???

And then there’s technique – do you only slobber around up top, dodging the hand on your head coaxing you down further or have you always relished the chance to perform an impromptu sex show anytime you’re presented with a banana and an appreciative audience in the form of your less inhibited social circle?

Practice Makes Perfect

Practice, as they say, makes perfect.

Teeth? Only if you’re already an expert.

Same goes for slapping, pinching, grabbing and grinding – though sometimes you might get some intriguing requests and naturally it’s up to you and your limits if you want to acquiesce or negotiate!

To swallow or not to swallow? It sure is a show stopper of a finish and one that might impress your mate though you’re at the mercy of the recipient’s lifestyle choices – as the beloved character Samantha Jones shares with the girls in one memorable ‘Sex and the City’ episode – Im dating a guy with the funkiest tasting spunk.”

So unless you’re adept at aiming past your taste buds, you might be tasting hints of last night’s din-dins.

And remember, if you ain’t got tears in your eyes – you’re not doin’ it right!

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