Thirsty: Gay Internet Is Losing Its Damn Mind Over How Wildly Hot The CEO Shooter Is

26-year-old Luigi Mangione has been arrested and revealed as the prime suspect in the assassination of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson in New York City last Wednesday, and gays the world over have been left lusting after discovering what he looks like. 

US law enforcement arrested Luigi Mangione at a McDonald’s in Altoona, Pennsylvania in connection with the case after a customer identified Mangione from photos released to the media. Per The New York Times,

Mangione was found with a ghost gun – a firearm assembled from parts purchased online – on his person, as well as fake IDs and a document outlining his motives that indicated “ill will toward corporate America.” 

Gays go rabid with thirst for Luigi Mangione 

After Luigi Mangione was revealed as the suspect, internet users flocked to his social media profiles and immediately… noticed his striking appearance, particularly on gay Twitter/X.

A young Italian-American with striking facial features and a muscular physique, images of Mangione have rapidly circulated and sparked some insanely horny posts. 

The following tweet from user @maric0nsito was extremely prophetic about the wave of insane comments to follow:

Gay group chats everywhere are currently sharing the most unholy, god forsaken, hellish language https://t.co/iQZukI6Vfs

— j (@maric0nsito) December 9, 2024

Miranda: “They found the UHC shooter, his name is Luigi Mangione, and he’s HOT!”

Charlotte: “I don’t think we should be calling murderers hot”

Samantha: “Honey, I need that man in MY gione!”

Carrie: “Big is moving to Paris”

— Meech (@MediumSizeMeech) December 9, 2024

Pop culture account Pop Crave shared a picture of Mangione’s first mugshot after his arrest, leading to exactly the kinds of comments that you’d expect.

Luigi Mangione’s mugshot has been released. pic.twitter.com/k1owiRM6sI

— Pop Crave (@PopCrave) December 9, 2024

Many gays kept it simple, saying things like “bricked” or “TOP ME”.

Other users got more creative with their horniness, with user @NemoFurtado saying “Call me a health insurance CEO the way I need him to unload a few shots onto my back.”

Meanwhile, @Blitheringmikey commented that “he’s the kind of hot that you have to go on antibiotics after and don’t even care.” 

As more photos of Mangione became available online, Twitter gays got increasingly more bold with their posts. A shirtless picture of Mangione covered in blue body paint included an extremely creative deployment of a Charli xcx photo to tell a wordless story:

Omg yes pic.twitter.com/7VGUYIaFZg

— Croc Top 🏳️‍🌈 (@eb_geebies) December 9, 2024

Somehow, people even managed to find multiple photos of Mangione with his feet out in a startling act of private investigation. 

Others joked that Ryan Murphy, creator of the recent and controversial Monsters: The Erik and Lyle Menendez Story was already writing a series about Mangione, and that actor Adam DiMarco should remain on standby.

He should be getting a call from Ryan Murphy any day now. pic.twitter.com/DqJUg4pWpQ

— Noah (@noahgimmemoah) December 9, 2024

And I believe the following post proves that a picture can speak a thousand words (NSFW warning):

pic.twitter.com/P4FjYYuS3W

— BOA (@bitchonarrival) December 9, 2024

Maybe it’s just lotion, but you get the picture!

Luigi Mangione and the UnitedHealthcare CEO shooting

Besides the incredibly horny posts about him, internet sleuths and journalists alike also flocked to Luigi Mangione’s social media to find out everything they could about the shooter. 

They discovered that Mangione was a valedictorian at a Baltimore prep school, and earned bachelor’s and master’s degrees at the University of Pennsylvania.

Previously quite active on social media, Mangione’s Twitter/X account features an eclectic range of politically vague tweets shared and accounts followed, such as Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Edward Snowden, Joe Rogan and Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

He also logged the manifesto of Ted Kacynzski — the Unabomber — on Goodreads. 

four stars for the unabomber’s manifesto is so funny. real “i could do better” vibes pic.twitter.com/yL1Shk6NZ1

— Katherine Krueger (@kath_krueger) December 9, 2024

A particular note of controversy in the case was the fact that bullet casings from the attack seemingly had a message engraved in them: “deny”, “defend” and “depose”, which many Americans pointed out was similar to the phrase “delay, deny, defend” that lawyers use in reference to stingy healthcare companies who refuse to pay out claims. Some have cited Mangione’s own persistent back problems as a potential motivation for targeting Brian Thompson.

Furthermore, a police official reported to CNN that the document Mangione wrote ahead of committing the crime contained quotes like “These parasites had it coming” and “I do apologise for any strife and trauma, but it had to be done.”

Mangione is currently being held in police custody without bail in Manhattan.

He has been given charges for second-degree murder, unlawful possession of a firearm and forgery. More updates are sure to follow.