Is that with fries?

It’s official. Instead of our Gay Games athletes looking like beefcake babes or Sporty Spice, they’re going to resemble fast-food service attendants -“ with sun visors and bland shirts the main feature of the uniform.

Apparently the colours chosen are aubergine and sand, which basically seems to translate to puce and beige. What were the uniform designers thinking? No one has ever looked good in beige.

Peter Morrissey was initially approached to add some of the magic he managed for our athletes’ ensembles in 2000 but the Australian team couldn’t pay the top designer for his services. Instead, a merchandising company was brought in to produce the uniforms.

When pressed for his opinion, Morrissey refused to be too bitchy but he was certainly disappointed with the look.

It’s unfortunate they don’t show off the human physique better. Their bodies are their best asset, not those jackets, Morrissey said.

The uniforms are on sale to all participants, and while they aren’t compulsory, they are a lot of fun to have at the closing ceremony. Traditionally, participants from all over the world swap some of their pieces, so athletes never know whose pants they are going to end up in.