Madonna magic

Madonna magic

In these uncertain times, with war rampaging across the Middle East (not to mention like, half of Africa) at least we can have faith in a higher power.

Madonna, I mean.

Ah, Madge. When she’s not charming Rome with her mock on-stage crucifixions and draping herself in white sheets as some kind of sun-safe message, she’s making an effort to sort out the Middle East in the best way she knows -“ by drawing symbols on hot men’s chests and being the dancing meat in their cross-cultural love sandwich.

Just like Kevin Bacon in Footloose, Madonna knows the way to settle religious differences in an intolerant environment: dancing!

If only the Israelis and Palestinians had come up with this years ago, so much conflict might have been avoided.

But maybe it’s the context that makes it so powerful. It’s one thing to see fat guys in suits discussing peace in the region at emergency meetings. But get Madonna in there, strip down a couple of oily dudes and add a bit of fierce dancing, and it becomes a peace protest for the new millennium.

Of course, this isn’t the first time she’s tackled the big issues through her unique form of interpretive dance or costuming or just straight out yelling.

She tackled homophobia (or something) by kissing Britney Spears. I’m not sure it would have the same effect these days, although it might be seen as a kind gesture -“ even a fake girlfriend would be better than Kevin Federline.

And she tried to make the world a better place for enthusiasts of soft-core sadomasochism in her book Sex .

The latest Madge story is that she’s going to put the tiny African nation Malawi on the map. According to Time magazine that’s a country with no war but plenty of AIDS orphans, and it’s soon going to cop the full brunt of a philanthropic Madonna.

A Madge-funded orphanage will give meals and lessons to 1,000 children a day. She’s doing it with some kabbalah mates, although the kids won’t be learning a particular religion.

We presume peace-inspiring dancing will be on the curriculum, but we’re not sure if pointy bras will make the uniform list.

Anyway, good on her. I think she spoke for many millions of gays this week when she stepped out in a tee-shirt with the slogan: In Madonna We Trust .

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