Poles apart

I am sure by now everyone knows how easily I get excited. I’m like my cats when they see a moth or my flatmate’s dog when he has found a piece of plastic to eat.

Needless to say, I think I hit my ecstasy point in terms of excitement last Thursday night. It is common knowledge that I have recently been taking pole-dancing lessons at Bobbi’s Pole Studio with pole-dancing legend Bobbi. All has been going well -“ I graduated from Beginners and even made it to the end of Intermediate 1. What could get better than that, you may be asking yourself. Well, last Thursday I got the chance to co-host, with Bobbi, the first in what I think will be many amateur pole-dancing competitions. The comp was held at Pure Platinum on Pitt Street and there were two different categories, solos and doubles. It was compulsory to go topless, and bottomless was up to the competitors. As you can imagine, I was hooting and hollering like a crazy person from whoa to go with girls incorporating fans, glitter, chocolate sauce and even a swimming pool. Bloody fabulous! To think that the majority of these girls had never been on stage before, let alone taken their clothes off in front of over 200 people. In the end I think everyone was very happy, with many of the guys transfixed by the girls, not daring to blink in case they missed something.
It was my first booking in a strip club and I loved it. Fingers crossed -“ I want to do more. Let’s hope the next time I will be able to do a private show. I don’t know why there weren’t any takers last Thursday.

Now I know I have been carrying on about ToyBox the last couple of weeks and, to be honest, last Sunday was my first one. To sum up the party in just a couple of words, they would have to be, Beautiful boys -¦ everywhere. My god! They were everywhere and all with their shirts off. I was in heaven. Penny Tration and I did the toilet show and though the sound was a little soft and the temperature at one stage hit 500 degrees, we had a hoot. And the boys (Brett and Andy) think of everything, board games, tea lady, wet wipes, fans, ice blocks and even Twister. And how could you go past the finale, with what looked like two tonnes of confetti? It is no wonder the party has become such a huge success. With everything that was going on, one thing that will stick in my head forever would be Penny Tration -“ the whole seven feet of her -“ on a hobby horse, yahooing around the dancefloor doing her own special show. You are a crazy woman!

EYESPY The grand final of the Search For An Underwear Model at Stonewall is tonight. Pop in and see the sexy boys in underwear -“ they start coming out at 10pm.

Question: who was the tea lady?