The morning after

Let me say, thank god the DIVAs are over for another year. Everyone at the fabulous Star City Showroom was pinned, squeezed, diamant?and tucked to an inch of their lives, all looking beautiful with glamour from wall to wall.

I could go on with how fabulous everything was, but everyone I’ve talked to keeps asking, So are you going to give us some dirt on last Monday night? Well, bugger it, this year I will.

Dirt, dirt, dirt. Where can I start? And should I use names? I have to say straight off the bat that I partied quite hard after the DIVAs so, as I say after every big event, a lot of it is a blur.

Okay, who was the showgirl who was very dirty because she didn’t win Diva Rising Star, on top of the fact that she wasn’t asked to be the Barrel girl? Rumour has it she huffed and puffed her way around the after-party in a right state.

Which Hall of Famer was still frocked up and passed out on a balcony Tuesday afternoon at 5pm? A picture in yellow, this showgirl let the continuing party happen all around her but was later moved to a bedroom to catch more Zs.

Proving that she is the top entertainer, who was the fabulous showgirl who decided she was going to do a photo shoot at 4:30pm Tuesday? With makeup touched up by the fabulous Ashley Swift, who was also behind the lens, she posed and pouted her way around the room, a true champion.

Would you believe another diva with her nose out of joint? Well, it wouldn’t be DIVAs if someone wasn’t pissed off, would it? I am not really sure if this is true as I vaguely remember talking to her at the after-party, at which time she was fine (though I was also talking to a wall thinking it was Vanity -“ oops!) Anyway, how the story goes is that she had her eye on the big one, Entertainer of the Year. When it was presented to the always glamorous Minnie Cooper, she was quite upset. Word on the street was she threw herself around like a sack of potatoes for the rest of the evening. Better luck next year, I guess.

Now for a double act. Who were the two crazy showgirls who thought it would be good to do a duo act on the pole at Arq? Both girls thought they looked sexy while dancing up a storm, but when they were later told they looked more like thunderbirds with worms they both quickly retreated to the bar to consume more courage. Okay, I will give you this one, it was Wyness and me, thinking we were hot shit, gyrating our way around the podium. Our performance lasted about two minutes, or until I heard from Wyness, Let’s face it, we have to be drunker, let’s get to the bar now!

There was so much dirt I think would need a shovel to get it all, but that’s it for now.