J is for:

Jake What’s not to love about Jake Gyllenhaal? Apart from the fact he’s outrageously hot and plays a closeted gay cowboy in Brokeback Mountain who gets it on with Our Heath, Jake loves the gays.

He’s always saying nice things about us in the press. He recently told UK paper The Independent he hoped Brokeback Mountain destroyed people’s preconceptions about homosexuality. That, to me, is what this movie hopefully tries to destroy, he said. Your idea of what love is and what sexuality is can be whatever you want it to be.

Then there’s the fact he’s nearly always chosen film roles where he gets to play an outsider, struggling against the status quo -“ something most queers can relate to.

In October Sky (1999) he played a boy who rebelled against his father by refusing to become a miner. In Donnie Darko (2001) he was a troubled teen who was an outcast at high school. In the comedy Bubble Boy (2001) he played a kid born without an immune system who lives his whole life in a plastic bubble. In The Good Girl (2002) he was another sad, troubled teen who idolised the J.D. Salinger character Holden Caulfield.

Oh Jakey. Did we mention how hot he is?

Jocks Gays love jocks (and by that we mean underpants, though lesbians are well-known for loving girl-jock athletes). You’ll rarely find a gay man in Sydney getting about in briefs they bought from Target in a six-pack for $7.95, unless he’s trying extra-hard to be straight acting. Oh no. Gays wear expensive designer jocks, most of which start around the $40 mark.

Part of this phenomenon is due to the well-known fact gays like the nicer things in life, but it’s also because we’re pretty smart. We all know the more expensive underpants tend to be better made and are far more comfortable. Plus they make our bulges look better.

When it comes to style preference, our comprehensive survey of gay men we’ve slept with recently proves that the boxer brief is winning in the popularity stakes hands down. Or should that be pants down?

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