Man talks about feelings

There is an impression that Aussie men are tough, self-reliant, stoic and unemotional. That is the cultural ideal of the Aussie bloke.
Men who try to adhere to this cultural ideal believe there is only one version of masculinity. Masculinity to them means being tough, highly capable, never asking for help with personal problems, not showing vulnerability or expressing vulnerable emotions -” only anger which is manly, and happiness (but not too happy because we all know what another word for happy is!).
What’s wrong with wanting to be a stoic bloke? When it comes to personal, emotional or relationship problems (or health issues), the stoic bloke is a poor help-seeker. Not only is he wary of seeking professional support, he also finds it hard to talk to mates about what is troubling him.
This isn’t just a problem for straight men. Straight, gay, bi -¦ men are men are men. Gay men often think about masculinity, whether it’s their own or others. We can beat ourselves up over how masculine we think we are versus how masculine we think we should be.
For blokes, on top of this aversion to help seeking, is the stigma and mythology surrounding talking to a professional like a counsellor or a psychologist. Men see this as a soft option, as whingeing or being told what to do by a stranger. -œI can solve my own problems, they say.
This may be all well and good till a major crisis comes along such as the break-up of a long-term relationship, a sudden job loss or bereavement. The resulting overwhelming emotion and grief can’t just be swept under the rug or -˜taken on the chin’. This is a contributing factor to the male suicide rate (of any sexuality) in Australia which is a national disgrace.
Counsellors don’t give advice. Counsellors help clients explore issues and solutions. Most importantly, they help empower clients to work towards their own positive outcomes.
One of the biggest factors influencing good counselling outcomes is the rapport between counsellor and client. You may need to shop around and always remember to ask for qualifications.
Remember, if things aren’t working out with a counsellor it doesn’t mean counselling doesn’t work. If you got a bad haircut you wouldn’t say hairdressing doesn’t work -” you would find another hairdresser.
The VAC/GMHC offers affordable and professional counselling services to the GLBTI community. For enquiries call 9865 6700 between 2pm and 4pm and ask for the duty worker. Day and evening appointments are available.